Here's what happens when you try to legally represent yourself as an attorney in court, and you realize that you've dug your own grave. If all else fails, feel free to pull the fake heart attack card.
So classic I had to jack it (nolo). Please people, let professionals do their jobs. Shout out to Fresh over at C&D. As she said, this deserves an NAACP Image Award for "Outstanding Fuckery in a Daytime Drama." Hilarious.