FLOWERS FOR SHAKE, TOOT AND JENNIFER

[Listening to Viva La Hova, the new mash-up of Jay-Z and Coldplay, trying to stay in a positive mood for the greatest day ever. GET LIKE ME.]


Out of all times to pass away, I believe that those who have either lost or will lose their lives before Wednesday of this week are victims of cruel, tragic timing. Appropriately and respectively, I'll begin with my thoughts on the unthinkable Hudson family incident, because the funeral was held this morning and you're probably already tired of hearing about it. I don't know if I'm more afraid of the fact that a human being could do something so ugly, so publicly, or if this is the new normal.





Times like these, when real people die from real bullets--especially when said real people are innocents--make it difficult to listen to some of my favorite gangter rap songs because the lyrics come a little too close to reality for comfort in this case. For what it's worth, I don't blame Hip-Hop or rap, or drugs or guns for what happened to Jennifer Hudson's family. I blame the lack of intelligent minds in abundance. But our world culture has to change quickly if we're going to stop thinking about doing crazy shit like this, much less making rap songs about it. We've got to adjust right now, especially with this first chance in history to truly change the world. While we're at it, there are a few people who deserve recognition and respect, who gave it all they had but somehow did not reach today like you and I.

To begin, I'll be honest and say that I'm completely flattened by the apparent suicide of Shakir Stewart, the Executive Vice President of Def Jam Music Group, who I've known personally for 11 years. I met pretty much everybody who was ever in a position to cut a respectable check in Atlanta back when the music business was really booming, like around the mid-90's, when I started interning for So So Def. I always liked to believe that Shakir was just lucky enough to beat me by three years to Atlanta because he was blessed with perfect timing, but the truth is that he was made for the job he was given, therefore he excelled. He was the deadly combination of an intelligent hustler who was somehow always a few steps ahead. One thing I remember him saying a lot is "Work hard; play hard." My thoughts are now with his family, the rest of his friends, family and co-workers from the LaFace/HITCO days, and especially L.A. Reid--he pretty much hand-picked Shakir to be his successor in the game, and now he's gone before fully reaching his potential, which was still probably two years away. I absolutely believe that Shake would have signed the next artist to sell 10-million albums. Seriously, I don't hate or fear death, but I hate this. And that's all I have to say about that.





And by now, we all have heard about Senator Barack Obama's grandmother, Madelyn Payne Dunham, a.k.a. "Toot", who unfortunately left life behind for a higher existence, just hours before her grandson would be chosen by the people to lead the nation and become the most powerful man in the world. Not much more to say except "I'm sorry," which isn't enough or even appropriate, since I have nothing to do with it.





None of these stories are more tragic than the next, and none are to be forgotten. All serve to show that it is always darkest before the dawn, and things will always worsen before they change for the better. To you and yours, I offer my best hopes for a peaceful day and a glorious Wednesday morning, when we will together see the dawn of a bright new day while remembering to take an extra moment to remember those who we wished could stand with us as we celebrate the arrival of the future.


VIVA LA VIDA.

ALTERED BEAST - THE REINCARNATION

"Rise from your grave!"


Thank God I don't work for you, oh my brothers and sisters. If I did, I'd actually be in danger of being fired, because Lawd knows I haven't attended to the job of blogging since we hit October together. You would think that I'd continue to put up those pesky Obama campaign posts as promised, but nope. The way I see it, my job is not to just lurk for news on all the normal sites and post an opinion everyday just for the sake/fuck of it. Sorry if I set you up to be disappointed but it makes way more sense to take my time and put out quality over quantity. Creativity over consistency--all day homie. I'd rather do a great thing once and retire with respect than do a cheap thing forever and be branded as consistently marginal when I'm gone. Call it what you like. Maybe I'm just ungassed enough to know that Senator Barack Obama will win without me, so I can relax and watch history being made without my help.





See, I recently hit a monumental point in my life, wherein I decided to say, "Fuck you." And I don't mean that to be taken personally by you, dear readers. Quite to the contrary, you are something of an anomaly; you read this blog without promotion, marketing or gimmicks. I mean that rhetorically as a retort to those who would allow me to go on slaving just because I wanted to be noticed. I'd rather not be noticed for a flash in the pan, actually, and I consider anything gimmicky to be hot pepper on the stovetop. Speaking of gimmicks...

I'm at odds with myself on what to do with this blog. The whole trial (and error) of putting the word "Dead" in every post title became tiring and restrictive, and it was one of the things that forced a creative vacation. My return sort of signals that I'm ready to make some changes, but I've grown to love and hate this damned thing, which lets me know that it just might be permanent. Is that good or bad? I have no idea. I do know that I feel as if this blog is less of a ball and chain commitment than a labor of love. I can't possibly stop being expressive about the things that I write here, lest I let my guard down and dwindle into unchallenging thoughts and ideas. And that would be figurative death by spiritual abandonment.





By the way, did you know that DOLEMITE IS DEAD? Yeah, I saw it today while I was at work. That's another thing; I've got a new job. It's crazy that it came during a period of negative economic growth, but it gave me a fresh new perspective. I can't lie; it feels great to know that I'm going to get a check when I expect it and it actually pays the bills and leaves extra behind, not even considering my ultimate hustle of writing and promoting. Sure, I want Rudy Ray Moore to rest in eternal peace, but that doesn't mean pimping is dead.





I'm actually in a great place right now. Autumn is setting in, the leaves are dying and changing colors from green to gold, brown to burnt, falling to the earth to fertilize the future. It's a wonderful process that recycles life on our planet, and the earthtones create some of the best scenery you can witness when doing something as simple as walking through a nature trail. Don't forget I'm 1/3 white.





I don't know, dear readers. It just seems like I'm always on the opposite end of the world. When shit is shitty, life is gravy for me. When everybody else is partying, I'm feeling pitiful. Maybe it's only right that the changing tide brings me new fortunes. Hell, you might even say I deserve it, after having gone through that good ol' hard knock life that your boy S. Carter so eloquently mused about. Maybe I'm becoming that person I'm supposed to be, or always was, without the detriment of outside wickedness. Or maybe I'm just drunk off this pitcher of Bud Light I've almost finished.

Whatever the case, I do appreciate your patience and suggest that you hang around. Trust me, big changes going to keep coming. Actually, don't trust me. Just don't act surprised.


Viva la Vida!

BIRTHDAYS ARE DEAD

If you know somebody that's a Libra, give them a pound today. Michael Jordan, otherwise known as THE BEST WRITER ALIVE, is celebrating a birthday today, oh my brothers and sisters. In memoriam of his dead Myspace blog and the success of this weird, savage undertaking that you are now reading, he decided to post one for nostalgia's sake. I mean, KANYE WEST might be reading it, or at least some great writers from around the globe. Might as well flex some mental muscle from MJ's Think Tank.

This one was called "The Birthday Blog." It was posted two years ago on Tom's Rupert's social networking site. Since we're two years past, I went ahead and updated it for flow and maturity. Enjoy it like it's the last blog you'll ever read.



############################################################


THE BIRTHDAY BLOG





As hard as I tried not to do this, I broke down 30 seconds ago and decided to write a blog on my birthday. My honest intention was to just clog the Bulletin Board with announcements and irritate people the way they do me everyday. I figured this one time it was for a good cause; those bastards never mind asking me to "CLICK HERE TO SEE MY TITS!", so I don't mind telling everybody that I was born 100 years ago today. At least that's what my profile should say if it's working. How old am I really? Well, I'll admit to being old enough to have finished college (which I haven't), old enough to have put 10 years in the music/media business, wise enough to know that kicking a dead horse won't make it trot and young enough to get carded faithfully when ordering a drink.


Some of the things I've learned thus far are listed below, in no particular order:


- Family is most important. True friends are family, and everyone else is an outsider.

- Women will get you killed.

- The truth is a joke. Try telling a Republican that they're ruining the world. I bet they laugh.

- Never plan your day around someone else's schedule. I've been telling myself that for 12 years, and it's finally kicked in, giving me the ability to feel great about being self-centered and to stop worrying about anyone else's actions.

- You don't necessarily have to put God first. He/She is first anyway, and you're going to figure it out the hard way unless you embrace the grand reality of life.

- I'm the best writer alive. And yes, I mean it.

- Some people never change, for better or worse.

- With the exception of what we call "Kush", Drugs are Bad. Mmkay?

- Most people don't read. They just look at the paper and criticize the pictures.

- You can't work for someone who can't pay you.

- Politics are important, because if you have to put up with liars, you have to pick the ones who are most sincere.

- For some reason, Black people are a threat. Don't ask me why.

- The music industry doesn't exist, like the Mafia or the illuminati.

- Sex cures anything. Except STDs.

- Having musical talent can and will save your life.

- Gossipping men are most likely perpetual masturbators. Eventually they run out of friends and sympathizers.

- Celebrity Blogs are like right-wing radio: destroying our collective conscience day after day after day...

- By the time you read this, I'll be tipsy off some high quality red wine. Spoil yourself; no one else will.

- You have to find something to live for before you start considering what you'd die for.

- Capitalism has good and bad points, but it's still a better system than anything other current model.

- People think that love is about sacrifice, but it doesn't have to be. It could simply and purely be about love, if you think about it.

- Grudges will get you nowhere, but not all things should be forgiven easily.

- You can't compete with someone who doesn't see you as competition.

- There are some moments, people and incidents that you never get over. In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets.


AND STILL MOST IMPORTANT...

- I'm Free.

HIP-HOP SURVIVES

Wow. And to think, I was just telling everyone a week ago that the new Travis Barker/DJ-AM mixtape, FIX YOUR FACE, is my current favorite CD for the house. By some incredible stroke of luck or gift from God, both men SURVIVED a plane crash yesterday. I was so blown away that I didn't even want to post it, because it seemed like a story out of a graphic novel. It's crazy to think that they could have easily died in the crash, like the other four passengers, R.I.P. Seriously; wow.



Did the Hip-Hop angels intervene? Were they rewarded with their lives because both men represent the ongoing effort to use Hip-Hop culture as a means to a unified end? Did their recent musical effort justify the allowance of their lives? I think so, oh my brothers and sisters, but don't misunderstand that assume that I'm saying that the other four deserved death because they didn't drop a mixtape last month. I just believe that these two are obviously important to the world. And I think that somebody upstairs realized that they needed to be here, like Kanye, after his crash, or 50 Cent and The Game, after being shot.





Think about it. Hip-Hop is survival music. It exists to strengthen the minds of those who will not only listen but actually hear the message of death defiance. Now, nobody can say that they don't know the struggle of survival--sheeit; they both fell out of the sky and allegedly extinguished their own flames. Say whatever you will about the mixtape, but you can't convince me that Barker and AM don't have a purpose.





So with this post, I salute Travis Barker and DJ-AM, and I offer my condolences to the families of those who were lost in the tragic crash. So what they're white; they're also our brothers, and we should be giving thanks to God for their survival, because it symbolizes the entire culture's defiance in the face of what some would assume to be certain death.

HOW TO KILL A COLD IN 24 HOURS

Nobody has time to get sick and take a day off anymore, espeically in this wack-ass economy. Today I had to go to traffic court in C(ount)O(n)B(eing)B(usted) County to pay a ridiculous speeding fine, race back home before noon to finish an article by deadline, pay two bills, collect one work check and return a "favor" of sorts to someone at my old job who tried to get away with something shady. I must say that even with the small financial loss, which can always be replaced, today was a 100% success as far as a daily checklist goes. And I did it all with a severely nasty allergy cold--the kind where you sneeze violently and uncontrollably out of nowhere and for no reason, with leaking eye sockets and nostrils, red corneas and pale skin. I felt like I was the color green all damn day.

I'm something of an accidental health nut, and with the exception of beer, I really don't get down with a lot of mainstream food that tends to affect one's body. The crazy thing is that it's usually by accident. For instance, I hate cheese, with the exception of mozzarella on pizza. I'll drink a milkshake every few months, but I don't dig the taste of milk. And I'll be damned if I eat anything made of cream, from mayo to ranch to alfredo sauce. Again, this is not about health; it's all taste and preference.

Either way, I still get quickie-sick for a day when the seasons start to change, every year, like clockwork. So here's how I get rid of the bug when it bites.


WATER: The Essential Ingredient


You're supposed to drink 8 glasses every day anyway, but if you really want to shake a quickie-sick cold, you've gotta flush your system and stay hydrated. Especially if you're going to have 1 or 2...


HOT TODDYS: The Fun Part


Mix hot tea, brown liquor (preferably Courvoisier, Crown Royal or Jack Daniels), honey and lemon in a big-ass coffee mug and drank that ish. Good times!


CHINESE FOOD: Tastes Good, Seems Healthy


You've gotta avoid the fried stuff and anything creamy, because like milk, it carries bacteria through your body and prolongs the recovery process. But Hot & Sour soup is always a winner. While you're at it, you might as well get a bottle of...


SAKE: The Asian Wino's Hot Toddy


Sometimes this stuff can be a bit much to bear, but when you can't breath you can't smell the vinegar, so it loses the funky stench and just tastes like sour hot wine. Which still isn't great, but it does wonders for the chest.


ACAI JUICE: Antioxidants Are Gangsta


I've always liked the term "free radical." It seems like something that I could call myself. But these FRs are not good to keep around, so stuff like pomegranate juice, blueberries, cherries, dark chocolate, green or white tea, green veggies and other "superfoods" will wash away the ugliness that may have been hiding out in your bloodstream.


JALAPENO PEPPERS: Man Up


Eucalyptus, mint and peppers are great ways to jumpstart your nasal passages and breathing patterns. I've tried those little Vicks inhalers that look like suppositories, but the look you receive when you put one in your nostril and sniff it is enough to make you ashamed of yourself when you've done nothing wrong. I rock with the vaporizing balm, although it does kinda feel like Crisco when applying it. Let your lady do the honors; you'd do the same for her, right?


MULTI VITAMINS: For Extra Kick


You don't have to go buy a bottle of Centrum or anything, but having Vitamin C and Zinc is essential to this thing. Orange Juice is great, and Vitamin Water is aiight, but a supplement in the form of a big-ass pill works wonders. Trust your homie.


CHLOR-TRIMETON: Because Drugs Can Be Good


When allergies are kicking your pale ass around the house, you need to be practical. When you've had it with snotty tissue and brain-blowing sneezes, even the most hardcore naturalist will surrender to pharmaceuticals. I can't do Benadryl for the same reason I won't drink "lean." If I want to sleep, I'll just lay down. Benadryl works and all, but the drowsy side effect takes your entire day away and renders your alarm clock useless the next day. Claritin isn't bad, but it takes forever. Which reminds me; even when you become impatient and see no immediate results...


THINK POSITIVELY: Don't Worry; Be Happy


Maybe you can't wish yourself better, but you certainly can't expect to recover when you lay around, suffering, whining and talking about how miserable you are, even if you are. My thing is to subconsciously repeat to myself, "It's almost gone." By the time I'm tired of repeating the line or just forget to remember it, I'm usually feeing better. Some Bob Marley will also help, but no smoking, if you can help it.


This life is yours, in sickness and health. There's no use in giving up 24 hours just because of a 24-hour bug. Keep your mind and spirit healthy, listen to some good Hip-Hop and follow all of my advice. You'll be better than you've ever been by the second day, or double your money back. Oh yeah, what money?

Just take the advice, fool. You don't have to do all of the above, but make sure you drink water and pick whatever other trick you think best suits your lifestyle. Exercise can't hurt either, I guess; you can just dance like the dude below. Just get healthy, and don't say I never tried to told ya something good. Think about it: if Hip-Hop is to continue to survive we've gotta live longer and better lives.




If I missed anything or you have any tips, send 'em on.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: RESURRECTED?

Thank GOD! I was seriously - seriously - starting to get concerned, because this type of strategic attack took too long to happen, and it can't take this long again if Senator Barack Obama intends to win. But he did spit a classic line, and even if it wasn't a freestyle, it was certainly a Hip-Hop quotable:

“If you think those lobbyists are working day and night for John McCain just to put themselves out of business, well I’ve got a bridge to sell you up in Alaska.”

SOURCE: CNN

Get it? And if so, can I now start getting excited again about this campaign? Will we see more tenacious D from the Democrat from Illinois on the path to winning back The White House? Should I get crunk about the upcoming presidential debate next Friday?

Let's see what develops...

RISE! YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU WILL.

That headline was borrowed by a famous black man named Marcus Garvey. He was killed, like many other great black men, for standing up for what he believed was his life's calling. He wanted black people to be liberated - mind, body and soul. He called for a mass exodus to Africa by all black Americans (something I'm sure the GOP would love), because he wanted us to know our true historic lineage and heritage. He was about strength and unity. And he is now immortal, because a large number of people continue to carry his legacy into the future, even though he is long gone to those of us who will see the sunlight today.

What about you? What the eff have you done today, besides hit the snooze button multiple times because you were overthrowed (like me) last night? Sure, yesterday was a holiday for working people, so we all deserved a quick break before the fall kicked in. Well, we are now in Autumn, and in the midst of foggy, rainy weather, political craziness and the last four months of the Bush presidency. Rejoice!! And get your lazy ass out of bed and back on that clock. Time is money...

Me? I'm in Birmingham, chilling with my folk-folks and working on the fulfillment of a major goal. As of today, I have officially broken my addiction to cigarrettes with one full month of no nicotine. After today, I will no longer count the days; I've always believed that if you really wanted to stop doing something, you don't count the days since you've last done it. You just say, "I've stopped," once you knew that to be true.

Life is great. I'm happy as hell for no apparent reason, and I've been resorting to my old bad habits, like exercising, reading and refraining from things that keep me from being productive. I welcome you to join me in this thing called "life" in Autumn 2008. History is in our hands, if only we'd awake from the dream of yesterday and commit to the reality of this new realm of possibility called Tuesday, September 2nd.

I'll check back in with you later this afternoon, say around 2pm. Until then, grasp life by the horns and rise with the tide. The hurricane-which-shall-not-be-named did not destroy our beloved New Orleans, and there is a magnificient momentum of which all citizens of this planet are invited to become involved.

So wake up and live. Do something with yourself, and continue to fight the powers that be. Get like me.




By the way, this is not just for black people. White people, you need to wake your asses up as well and join the movement. None of us can do it alone.

GOOD MORNING: YOU ARE NOW ALIVE

This is what happened last night. Contrary to what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Christopher "The Notorious B.I.G." Wallace both said, before they were both assasinated, it was not all a dream. It happened.

As of today, Friday, August 29, 2008, the future is full of promise for those of us who believe in the natural right of all earth citizens to renew the spirit of God within us all. Once again, we can claim the royalty from whence we came. I do not watch the weather report, so I am uncertain whether or not the sun will shine where you awaken this morning, but it is certainly shining down in spirit upon the faces of those who see the dawn of a new day, even if it's through the rain of another Gulf Coast hurricane. And you can count me as one of those people.

We will not only survive the coming storm as a country, we will weather it and rebuild that which has been torn asunder, smashed against the rocks of racism and flooded with fear and loathing. Just as we have before, we shall again. We will conquer that which threatens our livelyhood and build a better tomorrow with the foundation that we have in this very day.

On this day, the Friday before Labor Day, which leads into the month I was born, I am happy, grateful and excited to be a living, breathing human being. And I cherish the fact that some great entity that created this whole idea called "life" actually thought enough of me to place oxygen in my battered lungs once again, along with the vision in my eyes, hunger in my brain and encouragement in my soul. I believe that this is the day that things will undoubtedly become irreversable on the path to a positive existence. And I am ready for the challenge of today, tomorrow and beyond.




I am awake. Now wake your punk ass up too and join the rest of the living; we've got work to do.

DEAD PREZ SAYS "WAKE THE EFF UP"

What better way to get your Wednesday morning started than with some of that good revolutionary Hip-Hop music as the soundtrack to your daily survival? I can think of none at the moment.

This song, "It's Bigger Than Hip-Hop", by dead prez, has been on heavy rotation in my mental radio station recently, and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's because good Hip-Hop music is on life-support. Maybe the reason why I'm posting an old video by Dead Prez is because my own blog is dead and I have nothing better to do. Or maybe - just maybe - true Hip-Hop music never dies, because true Hip-Hop music finds ways to speak the immortal truth about life and the everlasting, never-ending struggle for peace, love and progress.





The truth is that the fight is far from finished, and songs like the one above are perfect melodies to wake your tired ass up from the clutches of death's cousin. Whether you're still slumbering through the morning, currently in a corporate cubicle cage or trying to settle into your own solitary confinement of creativity, it's time to get on your grind.

The game of life does not don't wait. And life is bigger than Hip-Hop. And Hip-Hop is bigger than religion, "my nigga" and the government. Didn't we go over this yesterday morning?


"Better drink a Red Bull;
You can't sleep on life..."
Young Jeezy - "I Luv It"

POETIC JUSTICE: WAKING UP THE DEAD

I haven't found an embeddable video of HAIK HOISINGTON & TAALAM ACEY'S "TRUE LIES" POEM, but if you have 2:03 to spare this morning, you really need to click that link. The wordplay and animation combined are ill.


Here's a different poem, same poet, no animation. Still dope.




If you wanted to wake up this morning thinking that everything was right in America, now that the Democrats are about to officially nominate the first African-American major party candidate for POTUS, then don't let me keep you from dreaming. Snooze on, and if you have a vision of euphorian utopias, write it down when the alarm clock goes off. Maybe we can sell your notes as a bedtime story for children.

That was a joke. Seriously - wake your tired ass up and smell the rotting corpse of our free democracy burning through your nasal passages. If we're going to celebrate the death of the true American dream, let's just call this convention what it really is - a "second line" parade. Let's bring out the brass band, do our dances and get it all over with. You know I'm down.


However, if we intend instead to resurrect our democracy and bring America back from George Bush's hell, we've got more work to do than partying in Denver. So let's not get carried away with all the hype. Feel the momentum, breathe in the fresh air and get ready to buckle down. The Republickins are going to do anything and everything to keep a Democrat out of office. If necessary, we're going to have to fight back.

If, by chance, you were already awake, here's another dose of black coffee. Oh, if only "if" was a spliff...


There's nothing wrong with a pep rally, as long as you win the game afterwards.
- The Underwriter
(hell yeah, I quote myself when I say fresh lines like that)

THE GAME - L.A.X.: The Autopsy

I'm into true west coast gangster rap, because nothing else comes as close to the ugly realities of true life. And though some of you will doubtless disagree, The Game is, in my op, the best representation of Californian g-rap since the days of DJ Quik, N.W.A, Above The Law, M.C. Eiht and Westside Connection.

Tell the truth; Game practically bodied the entire G-Unit movement by himself just out of sheer will. His style has always been sort of the Pacific Coast yin to Curtis Jackson's Southside, Queens yang. Both have always seemed ready to be as disrespectful as necessary to lyrically embarrass their enemies, but when the two turned against each other, Game proved to be the better rapper, if not the smarter businessman.

L.A.X. continues the process of describing the City of Lost Angels to all outsiders. Like The Documentary and Doctor's Advocate, L.A.X. is heavy on the Dre-inspired soundscape, yet once again Dr. Dre makes no appearance behind the boards on production. In his place, Scott Storch (who needs the money), Cool & Dre, Irv Gotti, Nottz, J.R. Rotem, DJ Toomp, Hi-Tek and Kanye West all contribute some very high-def beats for Game's usual "I'm a Blood" steelo.





From the moment you hear DMX praying on the "Intro," you get a certain feeling that maybe God really does love the gangsters and vice-versa. X goes in pretty heavy with the prayer, giving the listener the idea that if he ever put down the microphone in the name of rap and picked it back up in the name of Jesus, without picking up the (you name it - pipe, blunt, bottle, needle, car keys, etc, etc...) again, he would probably have a congregation that would go far beyond the spiritual travesty that your boy Mason Betha pulled. Very dramatic and strangely appropriate.

From then on, you get what you expect. Game shows off his bounce-flow on "L.A.X. Files," which has a guy with a weird sense of tuning singing the chorus, but somehow it works out. From then on, the guest appearances start to flow in, with 'The Don Mega' Ice Cube showing up on the hook for "State of Emergency," Raekwon the Chef trading verses on "Bulletproof Diaries" and "My Life" featuring Lil' Wayne, which I can't get out of my head. Say what you will about Young Carter, but he can make your song pop if he really wants to, and the T-Pain device works well with him on certain tracks.

I have several favorite songs on L.A.X., and I've only been listening to it for 12 hours. Right now, my choices are "Ya Heard" featuring Ludacris, "Never Can Say Goodbye," "Cali Sunshine" and "Dope Boys," which knocks major. As a matter of fact, the only song I'm not really digging thus far would be the main single, "Game's Pain," featuring Keyshia Cole. Sure, she's fine, but that doesn't mean I have to be a fan. I think she's a little overrated, personally. Plus, I don't get the part that's supposed to be painful. Why didn't they name the song "Homage?" Whatever, I guess. But that doesn't mean I think it was a bad move to put the song out first. Black women love Keyshia, and so does urban radio. Can't call it stupid at all.

"Never Can Say Goodbye" and "Letter to the King" serve as the albums' two best songs for their creativity and depth, where he raps about the deaths of Tupac, Biggie, Eazy-E and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., respectively. Nas guests on the latter, as well as donating his vocal to the only interlude on the album, "Hard Liquor." "Angel" is another fly one that I played repeatedly on the drive from Atlanta to Birmingham this afternoon. And nobody can deny Chrisette Michelle, so "Let Us Live" wins on G.P. While I'm not crazy about Neo on a Game track ("Gentleman's Affair"), I do like the conflicting message. And let's face it: Game is known for being somewhat schitz.





Overall, by the time you get to the 19th track, DMX's prayerful "Outro," you shouldn't be mad at the Compton MC who has made his own way without significant assistance from Dr. Dre or 50 Cent since his debut album. L.A.X. is solid, and it will keep anyone from saying that Game was a flash in the pan, even if this really is his last LP as he has said. Hopefully, with the quality of this new joint, The Game will put the pistols away, stop with all the suicidal innuendos and realize that the game needs him.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 24

TODAY (Really yesterday, but so what):


This has been out for a day, but it is still... I almost can't believe I'm saying this... impressive. Paris Hilton has responded to Senator John McCain's horrible TV ad with her own short, with help from Will Ferrell's comedic website, FUNNYORDIE.COM. In the vid, she lambastes McCain as a geezer, while leaving Obama's name completely out of the line of fire. Looks like the Hilton Family is regretting that $4,600 check they cut to the Republickin candidate, and might be switching sides.

Anyway, here is the video, which is a classic. I mean, I might even respect Paris now. I don't know what to believe anymore... I'm so confused.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Yo, not only are the jokes funny, and not only does she look pretty good, and not only does she show that she can be very articulate when asked axed, but damn... her energy policy sounds like the best idea that I've heard thus far.

“I never thought I’d say this, but Paris Hilton’s plan is sound,” said Peter Beutel, an energy analyst at Connecticut’s Cameron Hanover.

“I’ve maintained all along that we need the best (ideas) of the political left, the best of the right and the best of the center. We need bipartisan ideas welded together. If Paris Hilton gets into the act with her plan, I’m all for it,” Beutel said.

“So now we’ll just have to see what Britney has to say and maybe combine them both into a policy,” said Art Kinsman, a spokesman for AAA Southern New England.

SOURCE: THE BOSTON HERALD

I'm dead @ this. It's, like, totally the hardest thing Paris has ever done. I can't even say any more on this one. Holla at me later.

Shout out to Rihanna.

AIDS: BACK FROM THE DEAD

Nobody wants to talk about this, but Americans and especially minorities are still getting burnt and worse from unprotected sex. And Hip-Hop needs to step up its involvement in community health awareness before rappers have to start doing shows in quarantined city neighborhoods and free health clinics. Your favorite killer disease, AIDS, has come back from the dead to destroy your mind, body and soul.

Advocacy groups say new government estimates will show at least 35 percent more Americans are infected with the AIDS virus each year than the government has been reporting.

Government officials acknowledge they are revising the estimate, which they say is not yet complete.

But advocates are pushing for the government to release the number now. They say that the delay may be partly political, and that it's hurting prevention funding.

SOURCE: ASSOCIATED PRESS/CNN

Sorry to take away from your laughter or light-heartedness while visiting, but I just wanted to send a friendly reminder that STDs are still out chea and still very deadly and contagious. Every time I ride through Birmingham, I see a big-ass downtown billboard (that should be promoting cheeseburgers or real estate or some new movie) saying that syphillis is running rampant through the area. Which means that you literally can't fuck around out there in B'Ham, or anywhere else if you want to be safe.



[I bet Photobucket deletes this image. If so, I'll put another one up by the end of the day. Damn, I hate being censored...]


See, the logic in my mind always told me that condoms are too damn thin to be taken seriously, and they do pop every now and then. This means that even if you tried to protect yourself, there's always a chance that you might end up catching herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, Hepatitis or even HIV from a one-nighter with some fool you don't know very well. Now, I'm not saying to avoid using condoms; any protection is better than none, but not even a condom can keep you from catching crabs. Those little critters don't need to get past a condom to give you the blues. I consider myself very lucky to have never experienced the crustacean movement.

Seriously, I know it's still summer, and people are still having sensual seductions. And it won't be for another month or so that people will start settling down with a significant boo in time for autumn, which is the most romantic season of the year. But you might want to go ahead and start slowing down now, just to be ahead of the curve.

Don't say I didn't try to told you. And don't act like you're blind to the pandemic. It'll only keep getting worse.

NICOTINE ADDICTION: HARD TO KILL

I'm in my second night of smokeless life.


It's crazy how easy it is to stop inhaling tobacco smoke if you distract yourself with work, exercise and other alternative activities. I'm one of those people who thinks that smoking cigarettes is an oral fixation more than a physical addiction; eff what science says.

I've stopped smoking cigarettes before, for almost two years actually. The only thing that made me start back was a bad incident hundreds of miles away. I was powerless at the time to do anything to stop it, so the only option I felt I had was to smoke some Newports.

Free advice: Don't smoke Newports, especially when you've quit smoking for more than a year. I literally felt a cloud of death overtaking my chest from the inside after the very first pull. It is a feeling I never want to have again, because it was like Satan himself had entered my arteries and lungs, laughing and shouting, "Yes! I've got your little mulatto ass now!" The cigarette did nothing but start my nicotine dependency all over like a bad relationship with a revolving door.





Smoking is a nasty, disgusting, dirty and stinky habit. But when I'm smoking a cigarette, I don't have a problem with that. Especially when I'm drinking and in front of my laptop. But after recently realizing that my strength, endurance and breathing had been badly affected by the constant cheap smoke, I decided to give life another try.

So I'm going on the lam again. Running away from the Parliament Menthol Lights. I'm not missing the nicotine as much as I miss the activity. I guess I'll practice the saxophone, write another blog, fold some clothes, download some music, organize some important files, return some emails... damn. I guess there's a lot to be done. And maybe in a couple of days I might even be able to take my ass to the gym and finally get rid of the lingering baby fat I've carried for 30 years.


If anybody has any other suggestions for a successful end to my seven-year tobacco habit, I'm all ears. Until then, I'm just going to find some shit to do and wait until the itch is gone. Wish me luck.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 19 (Si Se Puede!)

TODAY:

I don't want to cover this whole "race card" debate any more than I did yesterday. Even though I know that this will still be the relevant story for the day, unless something real happens or the Obama campaign makes some big announcement. It just doesn't deserve any more fuel. If ignored, it will go away, like an annoying and drunk fat girl that flirts with you at the bar.

So instead, I just wanted to remind you that the Hispanic vote is still up for grabs. And even if McCain seems likely to get a good amount of Latino voters in his column, it shouldn't even compare to Obama's draw, especially if the immigration debate heats up again before the elections. And I predict that the Democratic leadership will pull this one on the Republickins sometime close to voting day, just to remind McCain that he can't have it both ways. Either he takes a hit on the conservative side or the Hispanic. Who is more important to him?

Anyway, here go some YouTube songs that support Obama in Spanish. I haven't heard any of my Mexican peoples knocking either version from the Honda Civic, but it doesn't seem like a far reach. Especially since most reggaeton generally sucks to high Hell anyway. No disrespect.

RAP NERDS DON'T DIE - THEY MULTIPLY

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL STORY of how The Underwriter, your faithful and humble narrator, took part in a high-definition Hip-Hop discussion with four other pure rap nerds with presidential status in the game.


Shout to Billy X. Sunday, a.k.a. Dallas Penn, of XXL and iNTERTETS CELEBRITIES fame, for hosting a great Hip-Hop debate right chea on my stomping grounds of Cobb County, GA. The homie let me know early that he would be in the ATL this week, so I made a point to get up with him and a few friends at Taco Mac on the East-West Connector (near Six Flags) to discuss such relevant and immediate issues as The Dark Knight, Fonzworth Bentley, Lil' Wayne and of course the only five albums that a person could take on the Mothership. In attendance were Maestro (producer: Lil' Wayne's "3-Peat") and frequent XXL commenter Twerkolater.

It was a great night in Atlanta for rap thought. We consumed drinks, cigarrettes and topics like intellectual cannibals. Nobody was given too much free reign over their opinions, but everybody's words were respected and we all left feeling as if we had fleshed out our own ideas about how the game should be and how things really are today in the world of Hip-Hop culture.


And I was throwed like a horseshoe. I'm surprised DP even remembered any of this fuckery, because he seemed as drunk as I was. Shout to him for staying on point and delivering the story. I went home and crashed like Dale Earnhart (R.I.P.).



Until next time, Chea!






UPDATE:

CLICK HERE FOR MAESTRO'S BLOG


CLICK HERE FOR TWERKOLATER.

THE NIGGER NEWS

So I go through my daily online news this morning and look what I found at CNN.com:

"On the untitled album, there's still an air of militancy, with the threats of violence directed toward those who aim to oppress African-Americans.

He boasts likenesses to Black Panther founder Huey P. Newton and threatens to throw Molotov cocktails in the name of civil rights murder victim Emmett Till.

On "Testify," Nas warns that he's loading a magazine to "send these redneck bigots some death in a bag/choke him out with his Confederate flag/I know these devils are mad."

SOURCE: CNN

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.


It's great to see that CNN actually covered this in what comes across as a non-biased, journalistic way. Nas just might see some numbers and garner even more respect as one of Hip-Hop's best for making an album that targets the most feared word on the planet. Even if he changed the name, I totally support the idea behind this one. Untitled dropped yesterday. Go buy it.


"No matter what the CD's called / I'm unbeatable, y'all!"
Nas - "Hero"

THE MOURNING AFTER…

Shout out to COX RADIO, my corporate sponsor, for providing the free room and tickets to the 2008 Essence Music Festival, which went down like a laxative. Made me feel regular again. Maybe you’ll catch the real rundown in a magazine or newspaper or something, if I feel like selling it.

In case you need it, here’s a quick list of what to do and what not at Essence 2009, for anyone who didn’t make the event this year. Just a head’s up: next year’s show, which is being headlined by Beyonce, will certainly be just as crunk. If you can get there, I suggest you make the trip. For the record, there are more women than you can shake a scythe at. Don't take my word for it, just ask axe somebody.

On with the list, and off with your head...


1. IF YOU DRIVE FROM ATLANTA, GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO RIDE WITH YOU

I drove a rental down I-85 and made it to New Orleans in about 7 hours. The drive wasn’t that bad, but it would have been much cooler if I had somebody riding shotgun to offset any suspicious vibes I had that the cops might have been following me, which they weren’t. But it’s not very cool when you see thirty to forty cars pulled over in a row between Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi. Very, very sketch. I’m still shook and I’ve already made it back safe and sound.


2. DON’T STAY AT THE RITZ-CARLTON IN THE FRENCH QUARTER

Sure, it’s at the top of the food chain when it comes to nice hotels. And most of the celebrities had rooms there, so it was cool to be walking outside to Canal Street and seeing people like Lynn Whitfield and Kenya Moore walking past you on their way in. Plus, I got my room for the freeski, so I can't complain too much. Then again...

On the other side of that, there’s the snitch factor. Not that I would dare be dirty in the most esteemed hotel of the upper class, mind you… Let’s just say that I had a funny feeling Sunday night while I was getting "prepared" for the concert, and less than 10 seconds after, the cleaning lady came and knocked. After that, I was pretty much sketched out for the remainder of my trip. Plus, the ladies at the check-in/check-out desk tried to play me with some extra charges, which I deaded immediately by being proactive enough to check my balance before checking out.

An Ill side note:
On my way out of the hotel on Sunday night to the Superdome, right after the cleaning lady interrupted my session evening, I was walking down the hall, on my way to the elevator, and saw a Swisher Sweet box laying in front of a room. Next to it was an iPod Nano and a rope of disco ball-colored beads. Guess what was in the Swisher Sweet box? Can you say, "Dro?" Better yet, can you say, “Free iPod?”

Then again, maybe you should stay at the Ritz, with those type of free goodies. But I’d recommend the W. It’s way more jumping and way less sketch.


3. DON’T BE A HOT BOY

I said that I would consider going to the 9th Ward to investigate the progress after Katrina. That was until I realized that the locals would much rather come to us in the French Quarter than invite us back into their territory. When I say that New Orleans has it’s own culture, I mean it. And those people can spot an outsider pretty damn quickly. Ever heard of a ghetto pass? Get one, or you probably won’t be welcomed into the Mac-Melph-Callio.

Still, I got plenty of local love (nolo), probably because I’m from Alabama, and I know when and how to use local words and phrases like “out chea”, “baby” (pronounced “bey-be”) and “boy, that’s cold.” Get like me.


4. BRING CASH (WHERE IT'S SAFE)

There was so much authentically-fly art being sold by street vendors that I felt like a loser when I realized that I couldn’t buy a single painting on Visa or AMEX. Most of it you’ve probably seen at your local Black Arts Festival, but some of the stuff was simply incredible. And the good shit was not even that expensive - $150 could get you something unique and exclusive, and I'm killing myself for not coming up on this ill Obama painting that was set against a newspaper backdrop. I can't even describe how cool that shit was.

Too bad I spent most of my cheese on hurricanes, pina coladas and gumbo.


5. DON’T PARK YOUR RENTAL ON N. RAMPART AND BOURBON ST.

Bourbon Street was ridiculous. And the atmosphere was electric. But I don’t believe that even the crunkest of street parties gives somebody the right to stand on top of someone else’s (literally, not mine) Jeep, unless of course ninjas were shooting and people were just trying to get out of the line of fire. So maybe those dirty bootprints were just from some lucky fool who had a MJ-inspired vertical and got away from certain death. I applaud that. Now, if I would have caught said local dancing to Lil' Boosie and Webbie on top of a car I was too cheap to have insured? Let's just say it he would have been "down bad."

Speaking of which, Bourbon Street did get shut down on both Friday and Saturday night/morning around 2 a.m., because locals were either engaged in massive street brawls or just good-old murder capital shoot-outs. From what I heard, some cats did unfortunately get bodied. Sorry, I was throwed off the hurricanes and too happy to get shot for the home audience. Tell CNN to save my eulogy and celebrity tribute for later.

My 2008 Essence Festival motto: "I'm too cool to die for a rental car."


6. GO TO THE CONCERT

The good people from Cox Radio, with whom I was chilling, were not trying to go to the actual event. They spent most of their time either in the hotel or on Bourbon St. getting throwed and trying to be like your faithful and humble narrator. Made no sense, especially when Chris Rock, Mary J. Blige, LL Cool J, Jill Scott and even Keyshia Cole (no, really) tore it down at the Superdome. And I was there to see it.


Proof, in the form of photo images and video, is forthcoming, once I get some sleep. For now, I need to unwind, relax and detox. Reserve your room at Hotel Underwriter (The W) today, or miss tomorrow. In the meantime, holla at a playa when you see me in the streets, trick. And don’t drop your iPod or Swisher Sweet box on my hotel floor unless you won’t miss it.


“I feel like lying / down in a cigar; roll me up and smoke me, ‘cause I feel like dying…”
- Lil’ Wayne; "I Feel Like Dying"

NAS IS A SURVIVOR

See, I’m old school Hip-Hop, but not at all an old head. I can appreciate what the youngins are trying to do with it, but nothing beats some classic lines and lyrics from the rap era when it was all about quality. Cats like me throw out one of my favorite rap lines when having a conversation with BUCKMEISTER FULLER or WHITE JESUS, two of my best homies. Cat like you, I call you a “gladiator.” Word to Killa Cam.


Here are just a few of the lines that I might use at any given moment when dealing with music industry dewshbags. Especially when the time and the wine are right. This time, we’re taking liner notes from the boy Nasir, who’s Nigger Untitled album has a FIRM RELEASE DATE of July 15. I don’t want to cover too much old shit, because the youngin’s can’t relate. But here are a few of my favorite recent quotables from Nasty Nas that I think bear repeating for the true Hip-Hop heads out there. Not counting The Nigger Tape, his most recent mixtape with DJ Green Lantern. I figured I’d give you a reason to even check it out, if you’re really that late on hearing it.


Hell, I might as well help promote something worth listening to. You can ask axe anybody - The Nigger Tape is pretty damn dope, so I expect the new album to be HD. I’m excited. It’s gonna be a hot summer.


“I squeeze nipples like pimples
To get the pus – get it?”


“Nazareth Savage” – Street’s Disciple, disc 1
(That might be a triple entendre right there, if you think hard enough. Nolo.)


“The lane was open and y’all was droppin’ that garbage shit
Y’all got awards for your bricks
It got good to ya
You started tellin’ the bigger dogs to call it quits?!
What?!!”


“Carry on Tradition” – Hip Hop is Dead
(Seems aimed at Dipset; makes sense too)


“Miserable cats, hunger painin’
Get off your ass, stop complainin’!
My crew be in Montego Bay
Macarenin’
Marinatin’ while you home,
Waitin’ your arraignment…

…Certain cats they wanna kill me,
They ice-grill me,
But on the low,
Niggas feel me.”


“You Gotta Love it” – The Lost Tapes
(I love it. Self-explanatory; haters need a life)


“Ma, I’m sorry who the fuck I am
I can’t trust my fans
Out of luck, no constructive plans
My friends stay powdered up
I’m so drunk, can’t stand
You said if I would sober up
I’d be a powerful man.”


“Stillmatic Freestyle” – Unreleased
(This song, over the "Paid in Full" beat, rattled Jay-Z into making “The Takeover”)


“Sometimes I can’t help but feel helpless…
I’m having day-mares in daytime
Wide awake, try to relate…

…Human beings like ghosts and zombies
President Mugabe -
Holdin’ guns to innocent bodies
In Zimbabwe...
They make John Pope seem godly,
Sacrilegious and blasphemous…”


“Road to Zion” – Welcome to Jamrock (Damien Marley)
(Shows you how Hip-Hop actually pays attention to politics and humanitarian crises)


“You can’t revolve me, embalm me
Calm me or harm me
Rob me or dodge these bullets I’m bussin’,
See, that’s malarkey you yappin’
I open up the tri-pod
And put the Gatlin on,
And I start clappin.”


“Hustlers” – Hip-Hop is Dead
(I’m also a fan of The Game. Shit talk can be wildly entertaining when done correctly)


“Puttin old niggas verse the yougin’s
Most of our elders failed us
How can they judge us?”


“Be a Nigger Too” – Untitled
(An ill line on many levels… even my Mom agrees)


Good artists, real Hip-Hop artists, deserve better support, publicity and promotion. This way, they don't have to die first to get the cover of your favorite magazine. Word to Jadakiss.

"You know dead rappers get better promotion."