LINKS FOR YOUR LIFE - LIVE FROM BEIJING (not really)

[The Underwriter does not condone racial intolerance. But this is a funny picture.]


OBAMA'S ON VACATION, and to a degree, so am I. I quit my former day job last week, and it feels great to be alive. And still, no cigarettes. I feel as far away as the continent of Asia from my old life as I knew it two weeks ago.

See, I'm focusing on getting my shite right, so I quit doing a lot of things that were bad for my everlasting soul. As a result, I've been having mad, ill dreams about trailer-loads of girls and bombastic bus trips to exotic places where Amazonian women live without any male company. Sheeit, I've had some of the best sleep in years recently.

I do wish I was in Beijing in reality. Have you been watching the Olympics? Seriously, this is the only time in life that I'm really amped to watch sports all day long. There's something about the Olympics that makes sports seem innocent again. But alas, there is still turmoil afoot in the world, and death circles above us all like a skinny black vulture. No time to waste, no time to chill...

So here are a few deadly things that have been going on recently, just to keep you abreast of things and stuff. Here's what's been going down:


LINKS FOR YOUR LIFE!!!


War Games



Russia is still bombing the shite out of Georgia. I guess "cease-fire" is either not a literal term, or something must have been lost in translation. Either way, it's still war out there, and the Olympics served as nothing more than a distraction from the assault. CLICK HERE for the story.


Michael Phelps is Him



Michael Phelps, the American swimmer and the winningest Olympian of all time, listens to Lil' Wayne's classic mixtape track "I'm Me" as he prepares for nautical warfare. He recently admitted this to the media. As you should know, this dude is breaking swimming records left and right. Wayne haters, you can now drown yourself in wolf piss, or just CLICK HERE for the story.


Ozone Magazine = Hip-Hop Coloring Book



The Ozone Awards was a coon-fest of epic proportions. My homie Jacinta was in attendance, and she came back with several reports that confirm my decision to stay home and get zooted. I remember having the opportunity to interview Julia Beverly, Ozone's publisher, once, and I just changed my mind and canceled at the last minute, on some "who cares" shit. I discovered that I wasn't impressed. She just seems out of place, and under her guidance, the awards ceremony gets worse and worse every year. Oh well, she's still banking off you idiots that read Ozone, so CLICK HERE for the full unedited story, or CLICK HERE for the clean version @ Rolling Out.


Hillary Wants Some Effing Respect



Senators Obama and Clinton have reached a "compromise" that will allow Clinton's name to be placed in nomination at the Democratic convention. That means that even though Obama won the needed amount of delegates and has more pledged superdelegates than Clinton, she doesn't have the balls to tell her supporters that protesting, yelling and voting for her at the convention will be counter-productive, not cathartic. I think she's still trying to be V.P., but she doesn't know that you can't be a beeyotch about it and expect people to sympathize. Whatever. CLICK HERE for the story.


Keep R. Kelly Away from the Chinese Gymnast Team



It is being reported that Chester is not only alive and well, he might be Chinese. Team China has at least two questionable team members for the gymnastic squad. I feel like that's weird as hell, so I'm out, but you can CLICK HERE for the story.


Going to see Pineapple Express tonight with the homies. Already copped the t-shirt, because I heard the movie was funny as hell. For now, back to the games.


UPDATE: IMAGES ADDED (8/17/08).

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 27 (The Olympic Hiatus)

John Edwards is not the only person who knows that political news is mostly dead during the Olympics. He was smart enough to put out his grimey love story when it had the most potential to be washed over by bigger stories, i.e. the opening ceremonies of the Beijing games. As dope as that intro was, with the highest Nielsen ratings of any opening ceremony ever, it was the best move Edwards has made politically in years.


But back to the subject, I factored a two-week hiatus from politics into my original "100-day" crusade. That meant that I could stay away from politics during the Olympics, giving Obama and everybody else a break, while catching a political breather myself. Isn't that the historic purpose of the games anyway? Let it slide for two weeks.





Keep in mind that some major catastrophe, like Russia bombing Georgia even as I type, is bound to happen. Unfortunately for Georgia (the country, not the state), Russia bombing the hell out of it is not bigger news than Russia winning the javelin toss in Beijing. So anything other than sport competition is nothing that's going to stick in the minds of the American voting public.

On the low, this is probably the best two-weeks to get away with some obnoxious dewshery that you'd never slide with any other time. Maybe on the high. Expect some other slick news items to pass right along during the games. If anything good comes to the light, I'll put it up.

I can't front; I'm crunk as hell about these Chinese Olympics. Plus, I've managed a full week without smoking cigarettes, which is a small miracle. I still have major nervous energy, which I'm trying to use to my advantage. So instead of politics, we'll get back to Hip-Hop and other things that are dead for the intermissionary period. I might even do something I dread - cover sports.

^^^
*Earls*


In the meantime, thanks to everyone reading these Obama-themed posts so far.


"Victory is getting closer by the day."
- The Underwriter