LINKS FOR YOUR LIFE - LIVE FROM BEIJING (not really)

[The Underwriter does not condone racial intolerance. But this is a funny picture.]


OBAMA'S ON VACATION, and to a degree, so am I. I quit my former day job last week, and it feels great to be alive. And still, no cigarettes. I feel as far away as the continent of Asia from my old life as I knew it two weeks ago.

See, I'm focusing on getting my shite right, so I quit doing a lot of things that were bad for my everlasting soul. As a result, I've been having mad, ill dreams about trailer-loads of girls and bombastic bus trips to exotic places where Amazonian women live without any male company. Sheeit, I've had some of the best sleep in years recently.

I do wish I was in Beijing in reality. Have you been watching the Olympics? Seriously, this is the only time in life that I'm really amped to watch sports all day long. There's something about the Olympics that makes sports seem innocent again. But alas, there is still turmoil afoot in the world, and death circles above us all like a skinny black vulture. No time to waste, no time to chill...

So here are a few deadly things that have been going on recently, just to keep you abreast of things and stuff. Here's what's been going down:


LINKS FOR YOUR LIFE!!!


War Games



Russia is still bombing the shite out of Georgia. I guess "cease-fire" is either not a literal term, or something must have been lost in translation. Either way, it's still war out there, and the Olympics served as nothing more than a distraction from the assault. CLICK HERE for the story.


Michael Phelps is Him



Michael Phelps, the American swimmer and the winningest Olympian of all time, listens to Lil' Wayne's classic mixtape track "I'm Me" as he prepares for nautical warfare. He recently admitted this to the media. As you should know, this dude is breaking swimming records left and right. Wayne haters, you can now drown yourself in wolf piss, or just CLICK HERE for the story.


Ozone Magazine = Hip-Hop Coloring Book



The Ozone Awards was a coon-fest of epic proportions. My homie Jacinta was in attendance, and she came back with several reports that confirm my decision to stay home and get zooted. I remember having the opportunity to interview Julia Beverly, Ozone's publisher, once, and I just changed my mind and canceled at the last minute, on some "who cares" shit. I discovered that I wasn't impressed. She just seems out of place, and under her guidance, the awards ceremony gets worse and worse every year. Oh well, she's still banking off you idiots that read Ozone, so CLICK HERE for the full unedited story, or CLICK HERE for the clean version @ Rolling Out.


Hillary Wants Some Effing Respect



Senators Obama and Clinton have reached a "compromise" that will allow Clinton's name to be placed in nomination at the Democratic convention. That means that even though Obama won the needed amount of delegates and has more pledged superdelegates than Clinton, she doesn't have the balls to tell her supporters that protesting, yelling and voting for her at the convention will be counter-productive, not cathartic. I think she's still trying to be V.P., but she doesn't know that you can't be a beeyotch about it and expect people to sympathize. Whatever. CLICK HERE for the story.


Keep R. Kelly Away from the Chinese Gymnast Team



It is being reported that Chester is not only alive and well, he might be Chinese. Team China has at least two questionable team members for the gymnastic squad. I feel like that's weird as hell, so I'm out, but you can CLICK HERE for the story.


Going to see Pineapple Express tonight with the homies. Already copped the t-shirt, because I heard the movie was funny as hell. For now, back to the games.


UPDATE: IMAGES ADDED (8/17/08).

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 8

TODAY:

CNN HAS PUT UP A STORY about how an Obama presidency might hurt the state of affairs in black American life. The theory goes something like this: if and when elected, Obama might make white people believe that everything is all good for black people now, and a lot of things that still need to be done to correct the social, economic, educational and legal imbalances, as they relate to minorities, will be ignored after inauguration day. In other words, we're all even-steven. No harm, no foul.

Steve Sailer, a columnist for The American Conservative magazine, wrote last year that some whites who support Obama aren't driven primarily by a desire for change.

They want something else Obama offers them: "White Guilt Repellent," he wrote.

"So many whites want to be able to say, 'I'm not one of them, those bad whites. ... Hey, I voted for a black guy for president,' " Sailer wrote.

SOURCE: CNN.COM

ALSO TODAY:


An Arab terrorist drove a bulldozer through a crowded street near the hotel where Obama will be staying while he visits Israel. Both civilians and the Israeli police deaded him after wounding 11 people. The attack is believed to have no connection to the arrival of Obama; he was not even in the country yet when the melee ensued. The full story is HERE.


AND FINALLY:


MCCAIN IS STILL TRYING, IN VAIN, TO SHINE. Since Obama has the media in a perfect plex right now, McCain needs some type of news announcement or event to bring "The Straight Talk Express" back into the limelight. He is currently teasing the media with the possibility of announcing his vice-presidential candidate this week. Romney is favored. Not a good look.



If you ask axe me, I'm wondering what McCain's going to do when Obama throws a homecoming party. This dude is on a fantastic voyage right now. You don't think that his popularity is going to go through the roof after this trip is over? And you really think Mitt Romney can save the Republickin Party?

And most of all, what the hell is this supposed to be?




Question: why would you pay to make a video that only shows how much everyone in the media likes or loves your competition more than you? Doesn't that mean you're the only one in the stands at your own football game?


"Put a quarter in ya ass, cause you played yourself."
Big Daddy Kane - "The Symphony" (Juice Crew)





Your thoughts?

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 6

Out of town in Afghanistan for just 24 hours, and my man Obama is already stirring up trouble.

Depending on who you believe, the Senator from Chicago either has or does not have the support of Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki in his quest to end the American military presence in 16 months.


Here's the CNN VERSION of the story:

"U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months," he said in an interview with Der Spiegel that was released Saturday.

"That, we think, would be the right time frame for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes," he said.

But a spokesman for al-Maliki said his remarks "were misunderstood, mistranslated and not conveyed accurately."

SOURCE: CNN.COM

Now, just to keep it "fair and balanced", here is an excerpt of the version that you will find at SLYFOX.COM:

The statement by Ali al-Dabbagh came after an article was published by Germany’s Der Spiegel magazine which quoted al-Maliki as favoring the 16-month withdrawal window proposed by Barack Obama.

The article quoted al-Maliki as saying “U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months. That, we think, would be the right timeframe for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes.”

Al-Dabbagh said al-Maliki’s views were “misunderstood and mistranslated” by Der Spiegel and that the prime minister backs a general vision of pulling out U.S. combat forces based on talks with Washington “and in the light of the continuing positive developments on the ground.”

Al-Dabbagh said statements by al-Maliki or any members of the Iraqi government “should not be understood as support to any U.S. presidential candidates.”

SOURCE: FOXNEWS.COM

In other words (mine), Iraq's prime minister probably should have consulted Bush before he went and endorsed anything pro-Obama without permission. Somebody's not being a team player, it seems.


All caught up. Moving on...

OBAMA: THE LAST 100 DAYS - Vol. 2

Day 2.

99 days left before Senator Barack Obama is inaugurated as (literally) the first African-American POTUS. But, lo and behold, the time is not now to celebrate. There's plenty of work to do in the meantime. Let's get it.


TODAY:

THE NEW YORK TIMES REPORTS that in Iraq, Obama is beloved. He is urging an almost complete withdrawal from the country in 16 months. People there love the idea, but he is still being tested for his theory and proposal that America must pull out of the region before we are tied down for generations in a war that was never meant to be fought in the first place.

“In no way do I favor the occupation of my country,” said Abu Ibrahim, a Western-educated businessman in Baghdad, “but there is a moral obligation on the Americans at this point.”

Like many Iraqis, Mr. Ibrahim sees Mr. Obama favorably, describing him as “much more humane than Bush or McCain.”

“He seems like a nice guy,” Mr. Ibrahim said. But he hoped that Mr. Obama’s statements about a relatively fast pullout were mere campaign talk.

SOURCE: THE NEW YORK TIMES ONLINE

IMO, we absolutely cannot afford, as a nation in a recession, to continue to let our national budget go deeper in the red because of a stupid decision by the outgoing Bush. We have to get smart. And sure, we have an obligation to make sure things are alright, but we might be giving the Iraqis their best chance to craft their own government if we actually leave it up to them.


See you tomorrow...

SIGN OF THE TIMES

In case you've been purposely avoiding the real world, President Mugabe of Zimbabwe was sworn in again this week, after *allegedly* losing the presidential election, forcing a run-off and then rigging the election.

Here's what a cartoonist employed by Time Magazine thinks about it all...




Question: Why is Bush considering sanctions against Zimbabwe instead of doing one of the famous "regime changes"? Oh yeah; he stole an election (or two) in his day as well. Almost forgot...