9.02.2008

T.O.C. #40 - Racist Alabama Rednecks and Obama's Late N*gger Father

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[Young Obama]


TODAY:

Everyone that wears the color red and likes elephants was busy trying to spin the ridiculousness that is Governor Sarah Palin into a fairy tale story. And in such red states as Alabama, my "sweet home", I'm sure that there were thousands of others who were doing their best to turn salt into sugar.


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Before you even ask axe, hell no, I'm not watching the Republikkkan convention. I'd rather watch Fox News for a whole year than see a concentrated version of lies, manipulation and race-baiting, put on by the same people who are responsible for this sad state of the union we are now living through. And I rather you killed me, had me cremated, pissed in my urn and served it after the funeral to my family as lemonade than to watch Fox News for even a whole day. So there's your answer to how I think the GOP is doing this week.


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See, ever since the Republikkkans had their hoe card pulled by a bluff from God called "Hurricane Gustav", they've been scrambling all over the television news in a desperate collective attempt at pulling their skirts back down. They know that Palin is bad news, and they'd have to believe that we are all idiots (which, of course, they do) if they really think we believe that this woman is the best person to replace Senator John McCain if he croaks on the job. God forbid that that happens (hell, God forbid he wins...), but having Palin as safety net is worse than using pantyhose to break a 10k foot fall from the sky. Maybe even thinner. Not an exercise of good judgment.

As you know, Governor Palin's daughter GAVE UP THE DRAWS AND GOT KNOCKED UP. Senator Barack Obama, the next POTUS, made a formal announcement that "family is off limits." Not only was this statement an excellent political move, as it keeps him on the news during the GOP convention, but it showed his human element. That is, Obama is showing that he would do unto others as he would have them do unto him. Remember when they were tripping on Michelle? Well, now Michelle is off limits, just like the "experience" argument evaporated once Palin became the official VP nominee for the dead elephants. I swear, this Palin lady is killing every weapon that the GOP had against Obama.





So today, as I was checking my email and the daily news online at a place called STIR CRAZY in Birmingham, Alabama, I was caught totally off-guard when I heard one of the most random racist rants I've heard recently. I'm sure you're already thinking to yourself, "Come on, Mike. You were in Alabama! What did you expect?" Well, I didn't expect for a large white man to blurt out loud, in what I guess was his response to the media's sharking of Palin's personal family problems:

"Obama had a white mama, and his daddy was a nigger!"


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On a day that my own blog started with Marcus Garvey, School Daze and a hanging Klansman, what else could I have expected? For the record, I was shocked out of my mind. Contrary to popular belief, that kind of public outburst or display does not happen in Alabama often; they save that shit for the backwoods Klan meetings usually, and they still whisper. But yeah, I was stuck, trying to decide whether or not I'd really heard what I heard. And it's funny that the only other black person that was there earlier had just left before the white guy went Kramer with the loud N-bomb. I guess, because I was sitting in a corner with my back turned to the other customers, the guy didn't see me and thought he was safe to return to his racist comfort zone, back in the old boys club. And he never acknowledged me afterwards, although his ladyfriend kept looking at me nervously as I went near their places at the bar to order a Long Island and to give them a heads-up that there was still a nigger in attendance.

The other customers made no eye contact with me. The bartender, whose name is also Mike, was trying to look as if he had been too busy to hear what was said. A guy who smelled like rancid ham - who was actually a cool guy - kind of made himself busy at the pool table. These people were both speaking to me when I entered, and now they looked ashamed to be in my range of vision. Weirdness...

After conferring with my colleague MAURICE GARLAND via Twitter, I realized that the best move was to exit before I said something that got me jumped by said redneck and maybe 6 other worthless elephant man-looking goons, because that would have only resulted in me returning to the bar with a dozen or so friends who live nearby and setting the place on fire. Did I just say that? Just kidding.

So what is the moral of this story? Well, let's just say that when Republikkkans get nervous, they get desperate. They revert back to the way they really are without the cloak of invisibility that covers their red necks and fat, elephant asses. Once the shield is removed, they say anything they want, and I can't blame them. If this is how they plan to respond to the fact that Governor Palin is a horrible candidate, then I feel sorry for them. They can call me and every other black person in the world a nigger, and it won't make Palin a good mother. They can shout about the fact that Senator Obama was born to an 18-year old mother, and it still won't kill his credentials. They can piss me off, but they can't control my temper, even if I don't lose it. And no, Alabama isn't really that bad, but racism exists everywhere, and shows up when you least expect it. That's what I've learned - never be surprised by it.

You know how you know you're on the winning side? When the other side gets angry. Oh, and plus they were all musty as hell. At least us "niggers" believe in good hygiene and don't use toilet seats as horseshoes.

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"Home is where the hatred is..."
- Gil Scott Heron

1 comment:

Kirk said...

Excellent post. Don't you hate it when all people tell you is excellent post but don't say anything else. I was entirely captured in your story though. I know this is an elementary argument but Obama has no control over his parents on the other hand Palin obviously has little control over her children not to say she has none I mean isn't she the reason why her daughter is having a baby? I didn't mean to take the cheap shot either it was just a comparison of the "problems". Which are both probably blessings. I'm personally glad Obama's father is a nigger. No offense to Obama his family or anyone else's either. I've come to the realization that Palin is not prepared for what she is getting into McCain really doesn't get it. A new Grandmother with an infant herself that is disabled and four other children is going to have a very hard time while taking on these other responsibilities it's not impossible just improbable if that is a word.