Warning. This shit is sad. You've been warned.

So I was riding along I-20 yesterday afternoon on my way back from Birmingham, taking in my daily dose of the best news program on the planet, NPR. Forget whatever you heard or thought; no television station, newspaper, magazine, blog or website does a better job of reporting the events that occur in our world with as much consistency and objectivity. Which reminds me, I need to go ahead and start donating money (whenever I get some).

But back to the point. While I'm enjoying my highway cruise, I was flabbergasted by a story about PRINCELLA SMITH, a 24-year old Republikkkan who is an African-American female and happens to be a member of Newt Gingrich's think tank, American Solutions. CLICK HERE FOR THE AUDIO. And if you will excuse me for a moment while you listen, I will now puke on myself.


Ok, we're back. So anyway, this heifer intelligent black woman has decided to show her independence and freedom by being a token negro mascot for the GOP. She even had a blog post published at one of my favorite liberal bully blogs that attacked my beloved Hip-Hop. Check it out:

Sadly, the new slave master portrayed in many (not all) rap videos is the black man.

The executives and heads of these hip hop record companies are white males who sell 4 out of every 5 rap records recorded to a young, white, suburban, male audience. This image of oversexed black men who disrespect women, wear gun wounds as a badge of honor and brag of "bling and bills" is ingrained into the minds of white America, and thus becomes a new form of bondage for African-Americans. These young white men go out into the corporate world, and many are eventually sitting behind a desk to hire employees, and we want them to be objective. Yet, in their subconscious lies these images of African-Americans.


Good try, sista. Now, let's examine that theory a little bit more. If we are seriously defined as a race by the entertainment that we created for our own enjoyment and is now an incredibly popular worldwide financial juggernaut, that would not be a failure upon our part in sending a clear message. The onus lies upon the anuses who listen and believe anything they hear, see and read. All art is open to interpretation, and what seems like mysogynistic and self-hating garbage to you might be comedy to me. In other words, I don't have to tell a joke or write a sentence that you like, if I don't wish to do such a thing. If you like it, great! If not, kill yourself!

Here's an example. I don't get upset at Oprah, Tyra or that other black woman on The View when they say dumb shit that I don't agree with or could shine a negative light on black men. I just think that they're entitled to their own opinions, and then I ask axe myself, "Why the eff am I watching Oprah?" Immediately following this revelation, I shake my head and change the channel. Problem solved. I don't sit around and wonder, "But what if white women believed that all black men were worthless, irresponsible, shiftless, immature animals with bad credit? Do you know what that would do to interracial dating and the population of light skinned babies? Oh, the horror!"

That was a joke. All I'm trying to get across here is that if you don't like something, don't watch, listen to or read it. Leave it the hell alone, like I'm doing with your beloved GOP convention. And I'm going to do my best to ignore you, my sista, because you are being used like a rubber dildo by the Republikkkans to sodomize the African-American race in a manner that Nelly could never achieve with a million "Tip Drill" videos.

My problem with Princella Smith is that she is a tool. If she doesn't know it, then there is hope for her yet. Ignorance is bliss, but nothing lasts forever. Now, if she does realize that she is letting the Republikkkans parade her around town as their new weapon against their own reputation of racial hatred, then she is despicable, stupid and a classic sell-out. And I'm sure that will put her on the path to the Supreme Court like another famous GOP ball-blower.


For the record, Ms. Smith, I do not judge you for being an opportunist. I'll pray for you tonight, even. Now go back to your aluminum shack behind Massa's house and finish shucking corn for tonight's GOP convention dinner. I'm sure they'll save the "chitterlings" for you.

Lord, give me a sign.

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