SEOUL FOOD: WHO WANTS BEEF?

Certainly not the South Koreans.

We already know that they are shook, because your homie Kim Jong Il has those nukes on lock for the lowski, and could literally help them to blow up internationally. Since he's running the North, you could assume that his higher global positioning would give him the upper hand. It's kinda like the movie Revenge of the Sith, where the person with the higher ground cuts the other down to size. Plus, I don't think that South Korea has the muscle to go at Kim Jong like that.

If only they could be like Americans; we're so thuggy that we do it the old western way. We shoot the guy from 2 stories below, and he always does the "I just got shot" dance before falling from the rooftop onto a wagon. In our dreams, we're invincible. But I don't mean movies when I say that North Korea is the Wild, Wild East, and Will Smith is not about to risk his ass to fight a lunatic dictator with atomic bombs. Not in real life. Dude is even wilding out on the U.S., old-school style, like, "If you're feeling froggy, leap!"



"Kermit - better think before you 'ribbit'/ Don't be murdered over your song before you ad-lib it." - Fabolous


But back to the point, South Korea has a much more immediate beef to settle. The cabinet of South Korean president Lee Myung-bak OFFERED TO RESIGN today over beef. Not the kind you find in rap; the kind you find at a restaurant. Apparently, somewhere between 60 and 400k people marched in Seoul, in protest of the government deciding to resume importing American beef, which the whole country is convinced will bring Mad Cow Disease into the country.

WTF?! Am I missing something? Should we, as steak and shrimp-consuming Americans, be interested in this at all? Is our meat really tainted like that? I was actually becoming more concerned about Avian Bird Flu, which is found in chicken, until this new publicity fuckfest. The cattle industry can't blame Oprah for this one. Bad news spreads on its own, like salmonella.

Which reminds me, DON'T EAT TOMATOES, EITHER. Matter of fact, don't eat anything. Food is dead, and THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND anyway.





If you're smart, you'll get like me and drink white tea, praying for the drought to end soon so these American farmers can go back to planting that good shit. And pray for the sanity of our cows. I'd be mad too if humans killed all my folks, cut them up into prime ribs and rump roasts and shipped them off to Asia, only to see that people never wanted beef in the first place. Bovines of the world, you'd better step your political power up.




Viva la Vida!!!