This Week's Obituaries: A Great Week for the Death of Hip Hop

We interrupt this FEAR AND LOATHING post to bring you this special announcement:

I'm still on my grizzly as the grim reaper of Hip-Hop. It just so happens that this week was so busy in terms of expired rappers that I couldn't even calculate the damage until this very moment. So with that said, let's read the last rites for the week of October 3 - 15th. So what it's more than 7 days. My math ain't as good as my English or my scythe swang game...

Let's do the damn thang...


CAREER-DEAD MCs:

Unfortunately for you stans, I'm calling this one as I see it. I don't want to say that this person is done, but with all circumstances considered, I don't see how he's coming back without a powerful apology, followed by a powerful single and a powerful co-signer willing to forgive his nonsensical statements. Oh, you ain't know who I'm talking about? None other than...



Lupe Fiasco. Effin' the eff up.

The former homie snitched on himself by trying to excuse not practicing for a monumental experience - performing in a VH-1 Hip-Hop honors tribute to A Tribe Called Quest. Please believe that I would have been more than happy to replace him. And I know the lyrics by heart in my sleep. But when he forgot the lyrics, instead of taking one for the team (read: Hip-Hop), he made every excuse unimaginable to cover up his fuck-up. This dude had great potential in my mind, and now I don't think he's worth the plastic that will cover his thousands of unbought, unopened CDs when his label finally releases The Fool. Whoops, I meant "Cool."

Dig a hole, homie.

NEXT!!


LEGALLY-DEAD MCs:
T.I. (damn.)



I just can't call it right now. But when I think about celebrities that seem likely to beat their legal cases right now, T.I. is not in the top 1,000. Sorry. Really, I feel like something is fishy like Long John's about this whole fuckfest, but I don't really know what's up, so I have to sit back and say that it looks like Clifford Harris, a multiple felon at the peak of his career, is about to go down for weapons charges. Like it or not, a parole violation usually means prison. Let's pray for the brother; no b.s. I really don't want to see him go to jail.

NEXT!!!

REALLY DEAD MCs:
Big Moe



I remember "Purple Stuff." The song was always particularly bothering to me because it seemed to glorify the use of codeine, much like Hyphy celebrates ecstasy usage. But I also think Hyphy is a musical turd, with the exception of Mistah F.A.B. Screwed music had a cool factor that went beyond its own region, so you have to consider somebody like Big Moe's death to be kind of a big deal in Texas. Rest in piece, homey. The Lone Star State definitely lost one of its heavyweights in Big Moe, as you see in the picture... sorry.

I'LL BE BACK FOR YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER SOON, BITCHES.