CHIVARLY IS DEAD - Part 2

So the Democratic presidential candidates had another debate in Iowa. That's in case you care enough about politics to know that the Iowa caucuses are coming, and that this is the first state in the Union to hold a primary election for the office of Supreme Overlord of America. You do, of course, remember that right to vote we have, that so many people fought and died for, don't you? And we are less than 12 months from the first Tuesday in November 2008, are we not? But who cares about life on earth anymore, right?

As you know, or again, maybe not, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois is cranking that Ike Turner (RIP) on Senator Hillary Clinton of New York in all the polls except national ones, which of course don’t count until the Democratic National Convention and nomination time. Not only do the numbers show the black man running in sync with Clinton in Iowa, but in a surprise shift HE HAS "TRIMMED" HER LEAD IN THE NEW HAMPSHIRE POLLS to less than one percentage point. This is relevant because Hillary invested a lot of cash and staff personnel in N.H. early, setting it up as a political firewall state to stop rival candidates from taking her current status as frontrunner, much like Mitt Romney has done quite effectively on the Republican side of thangs. He can lose Iowa and still run away with the nomination.

The difference is that it seems to be working more in Mitt Mormon’s favor than Billary’s. If Romney loses Iowa, he’ll still own Mike Huckabee in N.H., and keep his status as the GOP contender to beat. If Hillary loses Iowa and New Hampshire to Black Alabama, that will mean that my man will be the true Jesus Christ Superstar of the Donkey party, as the artists have predicted... Nolo.




If it were my call, considering that Obama could possibly get the nod but is currently running almost 20 points behind Hillary in Michigan, where ol' Mitt used to be a millionaire polygamist Governor, he'd better get the same strategy going right now in his home state. Gotta make sure Obama doesn't get those drunk and hot girls from Rock City on his team when he pimps his tourbus through town for the Michigan primaries.





Obama has a classic line when he is asked whether or not he would consider joining Hillary Clinton on the Democratic ticket. His response goes something like, “Well, that all depends on whose name is on top.” Maybe that’s not a direct quote, but it’s close enough that I’m comfy-cozy with it, and I suggest you get like me. ‘Bama also killed onstage during Thursday night’s Democratic debate with a quick and classy comeback to a question from the audience. To the query of how Obama planned to create changes in foreign policy with so many former Clinton fluffers, HE RESPONDED WITH THIS LINE .

Classic.

Anyway, as long as Black Alabama lets Billary lead without a challenge, he’ll never know what could have been – if only he listened to his inner Pimp-C (RIP) while running for the most powerful job in the world. He can’t debate Hillary on experience, and he can’t criticize hers too sharply, or else when the GOP Swift Boaters come for him she’ll leave him defenseless and without a friend. Let’s face it, it’s hard for a black man to let a white woman lead him, unless it’s Hustle and Flow, his name is Deejay and he’s flat on his ass in Memphis, Tenn. Whoa… that reminds me of the other consequences of being the American H.N.I.C…




RIP Dr. King, of course.

But Obama’s definitely picking up steam. And it seems to be stronger than a temporary swell in ground support; it seems legitimate. Let’s see if it lasts. If not, it would still be good to see him standing next to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and President Hilary Clinton, secure in his historic role as the first black Veep of the USA.








Word to REVEREND AL SHARPTON - pimpin’ ain’t dead.



UPDATE: Clinton apologizes for campaign flunky reminding us that Obama used to get throwed on that George Bush and Christina Aguilera.