"SENATOR" ROLAND BURRIS IS DEAD

EDITOR'S NOTE: Look, I don't need no Secret Service problems. That title isn't to be taken literally, so don't get all tight about it and start goon monitoring me from Langley at the secret underworld headquarters of the National Obituary Desk. The concept here is political death, not physical. So leave me the hell alone. I shouldn't even have to say that, but there that go.



Man, I called it. And I'm still calling it now, even though it probably won't be announced until Sunday or Monday. Senator Roland Burris will vacate his Illinois senate seat, and unless he's a complete boob, he'll do it sooner rather than later. That's money.

See, this guy should have known that this was a bad idea all along. You already saw WHAT HAPPENED TO JESSE JR., when he tried his political hand at Obama's former spot, and found out that not every black politician is Barack Obama. Hell, not many white ones (or Jindals) are either, for that matter, so don't get too gassed about your chances. Those are some big shoes to fill, oh my brothers and sisters.

Now that he SOMEHOW GOT IN, he's the loneliest black guy in the Senate chamber, even without the ethical cloud that is raining poop water on his head. Taking the offer (or should I say "deal"?) from former IL governor Blago was stupid in itself - can we say instant self-ether? The smart move would have been to stay out of the line of fire, until the man with the target on his dome was exterminated by the political media's firing squad. Blago was already alluding to his complete coolness with taking others down with him. Some of those statements he made on his TV award tour, prior to his impeachment, had some slick undertones; it sounded to me as if he was quietly saying, "Look, this is how politics is. You pay to play. Now, don't make me have to get Nino in the courtroom on y'all. You know you got money in the freezer too, fool!"





The Democrats have been trying to keep a clean house recently, especially now that they're too busy running the government to expose gay Repubs anymore. But all that means is that the G.O.P(enis) is looking for some retribution rape, now that they're all the way uncovered as racist homosexual morons. You see they got rid of THIS GUY, and THAT GUY, so they're obviously not trying to wait on anybody to slip up, now that they're 1 seat away (Franken's gonna win) from a filibuster-proof Senate vote. That makes Burris the new problem.


I've got to admit that I was disappointed in Congressman Bobby Rush's "lynch" language, at that early press conference when Burris was just named by Blago as Obama's scab. Was it really necessary to bring race into the whole affair? If a black guy was the last person to hold the job, with outstanding performance, how can you assume that the next black guy won't get a fair chance at it -- unless you think that there's some secret issue that could ruin the whole orgy, like 1 person in the group had crabs and didn't bother to inform everyone else. But if you already know how everybody in the clusterfuck of Illinois politics gets down, then you should already know what's up, and you shouldn't show up anyway, now should you? Don't tarnish your gallant reputation by getting in bed with freaks.

Now, Rush, our proud former Black Panther, is sitting his ass down, and Burris having the marble toilet he had mounted blown up from underneath his balls, on some Lethal Weapon 2 ish. And Blago was doing a good Sgt. Riggs imitation, except he didn't stay around long enough to pull Burris's ass away from the explosion, or just to give some spirit-boosting encouragement, like "Guy's like you don't die on toilets."





White House Press Secretary and Obama weed mule Robert Gibbs said with nuanced subtlety on Friday that Burris ought to STEP THE FUCK OFF. The new Governor of Illinois, Pat Quinn, made his position clear by saying that Burris is a WACK MC that should be tossed off stage by the draws. Plus, one of Burris's senate aides told him HE PLAYED HIMSELF, and went back to his former position as the Tony Yayo of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's G-Unit.

So now, "Senator" Roland Burris is looking like Rick Ross. If I were him, I'd pack my bags, steal as much Senate stationery as I could get my hands on, and run back to the lab to record a new political mixtape about his experiences. I might even download it for free.

T.O.C.: Day 39 - THE REPUBLIKKKAN "PARTY" IS DEAD

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HIP-HOP REPUBLICKINS: DEAD ON ARRIVAL

Grab your barf bags... It's time to meet Tiffany Shorter and Richard Ivory, possibly the lamest black people alive.




Believe it or not, I am very tolerant of Republikkkans. I understand some of their long-standing ideas on governing and freedoms, and I do remember that Abraham Lincoln was a member of the GOP. The problem with this is that these two twits are trying to mesh the ideology of the GOP with the cultural significance of Hip-Hop, as if you can belong to Hip-Hop culture and still remain a Republikkkan. The two are not now and will never be compatible.

In my own opinion, it is disgusting that Richard Ivory (ironic) says in the video that he likes Nas, the rapper who recently tried to name his album Nigger and was censored due to pressure from Reverend Al Sharpton, with help from Bill O'Reilly. By the way, how sad is it that the surest way to combine the persuasive powers of the far right and the far left is to try to make a piece of recorded art that investigates the power of a word?

I would bet money that Nas wouldn't like Richard or his ladyfriend. He even says around the 7:06 mark that he wants to see a black Republikkkan win a congressional seat representing Harlem in the next 20 years. Pardon me for a second...

*puking on myself*


Whew! Ok, back to the story, it is also vile that Tiffany Shorter says that she admires Richard Nixon around the 3:30 mark. She says that he was a moderate Republikkkan who instituted Affirmative Action, which she believes was needed at the time, yet she is now "ambiguous" about the program. What she probably doesn't know is that Nixon also allowed the infamous GOP "Southern Strategy" of using racism to begin under his oversight, which helped his party retain the electoral voting bloc of the south. In other words, starting Affirmative Action was probably the least that Nixon could do for turning the racial hatred that seethed beneath the Mason-Dixon Line against the party of Lyndon Johnson, who actually listened to great men like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Sure, we can get jobs at quota numbers from Republikkkans, but we can't have the power to create political change without a Democrat.


I look at Richard and Tiffany's faces, which have the putrid look of moral superiority and/or intellectual elitism, and I wish I could pepper spray them through my laptop screen. I am very averse to smart people who let themselves be promoted as racial pioneers by racists who use them as lab rats. Black Republikkkans are nothing but doppelgangers, like all Republikkkans. I look at them as walking brain-dead corpses, trying to recruit the rest of us into a hellish existence just so that they'll have company as they wait for a plate of dinner scraps to slide under their doors from inside the master's house.

THE D IS DEAD

I tried and tried not to post this video, but as you see I have failed. I was just going to let it go and let people find it on all the other blogs, but no. I just had to have it. Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, I present to you the absolute worst song and video that currently exists on earth.




How old are these kids, and why are they in a graveyard? What the hell is going on?

TIGHT JEANS KILLED HIP-HOP

I'm not even going to type too much on this one. It seems that the backlash against tight jeans is now a full-blown movement. But here, for your viewing pleasure or disgust are a few YouTubes of the current state of fashion affairs in Hip-Hop.

All I can say to this is Nolo.











One thing I will say: it's funny how Jim Jones (Dipset/Byrdgang) is DISSING KANYE WEST about what he considers the ultimate Hip-Hop fashion faux pas, yet HE WAS CALLED OUT BY TRU LIFE not long ago. Misdirection, I guess. Hey, whatever works.



Shout out to THE VILLAGE VOICE for investigating this hood tragedy. America, it's time for a (wardrobe) change.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 16

TODAY:


We're going to laugh. We're going to look at the ignorance, and laugh together. Because really, even though political humor can go too far, sometimes it's still funny if you can dig past an obvious insult and find your sense of humor.

Here are a few photos I've found along the way to fullfilling this assignment to cover the Obama campaign for 100 days.

















Pretty classy, huh? Feel free to pass them around to others. Or feel free to start a petition demanding that people stop using caricatures, drawings and graphic manipulation to create images that unfairly draw negative and misleading racial and cultural reactions upon political candidates from those who don't know how to tell a lie from the truth. See how far it gets you.

Good luck with that.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 12 - YOU CAN'T CHEAT THE REAPER

Truth be told, I was astounded - yes, astounded - at the comment that I received on one of my earlier posts. The comment appeared on one of THE OBAMA CRUSADES -you know, that series I've been posting for the last 12 days - and I admit that I really believed that some guy named John Maszka was one of those dudes who just started reading my blogs that I'd have to respond to. I mean, this dude went in on some foreign policy, self-righteous bullshit.


Check out the comment snippet:

"The really disappointing aspect of Obama is that he was supposed to be the peace candidate. But everything that he appeared to stand for- multiculturalism, religious toleration, peace, diplomacy- all are overshadowed by this foolish idea of moving the war to Pakistan.

Moving the war on terror to Pakistan could have disastrous consequences on both the political stability in the region, and in the broader balance of power. Scholars such as Richard Betts accurately point out that beyond Iran or North Korea, “Pakistan may harbor the greatest potential danger of all.” With the current instability in Pakistan, Betts points to the danger that a pro-Taliban government would pose in a nuclear Pakistan. This is no minor point to be made. While the Shi’a in Iran are highly unlikely to proliferate WMD to their Sunni enemies, the Pakistanis harbor no such enmity toward Sunni terrorist organizations. Should a pro-Taliban or other similar type of government come to power in Pakistan, Al-Qaeda’s chances of gaining access to nuclear weapons would dramatically increase overnight.

There are, of course, two sides to every argument;"

SOURCE: JOHN MASZKA

If you care to read the rest, the comment is on THE OBAMA CRUSADES: Day 11. Just scroll down until you see it.


Now, I was all good and ready to respond with fire, but then my wits kicked in. And I thought to myself, "What the fuck? Who is this guy? And what makes my dead-ass blog worthy of such a ridiculous rant?" I mean, dude wasn't wrong for stating his opinion, which even as respectable as it seemed I could easily backhand away with just a flick of my intellectual wrist, but come on now... who am I to make somebody, with that much to say on a blog, so self-righteous and aggy?

I had to investigate.

Lo and behold, I discovered the truth. This "John Maszka" guy is some type of geek lurker that wants me to publish his thoughts, just so that I can get excited enough to respond. I only found this out because I Googled the phrase "Thathiah Ravi (2006:119, 121)," which was included in his comment just further down from the segment I quoted above. I looked it up on the internet, and that's when I realized that homeboy was a fraud.


IF YOU CLICK HERE, you'll find the exact same quoted text that "John Maszka" posted to my blog.

That only means that this guy is a sucker, and I refuse to accept the same comment that you give to another blog, unless of course I happened to write the exact same shit as the other blog where you posted that exact same comment. And you know better than that. I'll post such buffoonery just once, just so you can see how I will thrash this shit in the future, even if it means it'll crash my desktop hard drive.

Either you're trying to size me up with a virus (nolo) or you're just an unimaginative loser. Either way, you ain't got no wins in mi casa. You ain't even in mi clasa. I never copy and paste comments. Me and that/those other blogs you visit have nothing in common. I'm the truth, and I'm deadly to dewshbags like you. Now run your sorry ass back to Rush Limbaugh's blog or something. Go suck Sean Hannity's dick.



"John Maszka", you are officially dead. Stay off my blog, even if it means you have to kill yourself. Besides this post, you and your kind will never get a response from The Most Deadly, especially if you can't even come up with an original comment.





"I ain't have to read The Art of War to slay men..."
Nas - "Nazareth Savage"



SHOUT OUT TO SNICKERS.

A MOMENT OF SILENCE...

My laptop is officially over. It died on Wednesday, and I still am in a state of denial. For the time being, it's going to be difficult to post new images, but I should find a way around it soon enough.


I am going to miss the little bugger (NOLO), but I did back up most of my shit a few months ago, so it's no big loss. Plus, I had over 200 albums stored on the hard drive, so I guess I was kind of asking axing for something like this to happen.

Well, it finally did. Mourn with your boy.





Actually, eff that. Let me bounce back on these hoes with a second line for "Sade."






I need a moment, y'all. See, I almost felt a tear drop.
Nas - "Can't Forget About You."

PUFFY IS DEAD

Say goodbye to the guy who once made you believe that you were a future Hip-Hop mogul. Say R.I.P. to the person who danced in Jodeci and Father MC videos in the early nineties. Say peace to the man who put out "It's All About the Benjamins." Say good riddance to the name by which we once knew Sean John Combs.

Puffy / Puff Daddy / P. Diddy is dead. Who knows, Diddy is right there in the bottom right corner of the YouTubery posted above, but if you listen to the man, he's telling you like it is. He's got, no tiiime for fake names. He's officially crossed the glass ceiling of Hip-Hop, which is usually "label head" status (nolo) and negro endorser of white-owned products. My man is a household name, so I guess it makes sense for him to use his very own name, since he can't change faces when he calls himself by various nicknames. I mean have you ever looked up the word "Puffy" in Google Images? As long as you're not at work, try it right now and see what comes up...

Don't worry; I'll wait...


None of us close to 30 years old can lie and say we didn't aspire to having what Puffy had back in the 90's. He was big, but he was still something of a hood secret. Now, he's executive producing the ABC version of A Raisin in the Sun, and playing the starring role alongside some heavy hitters. It'll be better than the Broadway version, I'm sure, because a TV production has editing. Broadway is live.




Sean John Combs wants you to know him as an actor now. He wasn't so pressed back when Oliver Stone first courted him for Any Given Sunday, but now he seems convinced that with his presence, money and power, he can move Hollywood his way. More power to him. But it is sort of depressing that he's showing us that he's too grown for Hip-Hop. Jay-Z is already wearing suits, and he hasn't been in the executive chair that long.

I've always wondered what would happen if Puffy fell off. Would rap music lose it's number one stunner and lose its standing in world culture if the biggest name in the business were no longer commerically viable as an artist? Well, look around, my brothers and sisters; it looks like we're at that moment. Are we as Hip-Hoppers too immature to see that even our heroes are abandoning us? Has the money in music dried up that bad, or is Hollywood poontang just that attractive that video hoes are no longer good enough? Or is Hip-Hop just dead?



Who cares, right? TIME MAGAZINE thinks he's still that dude, and I'm not hating. Unforgivable actually smells pretty damn good, to be honest. Eff it: Long live Sean Combs. He probably deserves to settle into being a thesbian, and we're just too blinded by his DIAMOND IPOD to see that not even precious jewels can sell wack rap music anymore. May the name remain, even if the character is no more.

IRONY IS DEAD

This following post is why you can’t be prejudgmental (is that a word?) when it comes to the intelligence of rap or rappers. You just never know; the same rapper who gets arrested constantly, associates himself with a gang and takes women to award shows wearing dog leashes might actually be a well-spoken, articulate, thoughtful, respectful and chivalrous gentlemen when asked axed about race issues in America. Even if chivalry is dead.




Conversely, a poster boy for nerd rap that would appear to have a superior I.Q., diversity in cultural understanding, a love for skateboarding, pop radio crossover potential and a legion of internet fans could actually be an intellectual Bozo, whose quirky image could just be a firewall that scares interviewers away from asking the deep questions - a “stupid shield” of sorts.




Because I have super powers and can read your fear-ensconced minds, oh my dear readers, let me go ahead and tell you what you think. You think that Snoop Dogg < Lupe Fiaschoe in terms of lyrical ability, therefore Lupe Fiaschoe > Snoop Dogg in the art of communicating his ideas. Snoop > Lupe when it comes to money, but not when it comes to brilliance, right?

Tha Doggfather:



Lupe Fiaschoe:




Right now, you’re thinking to yourself, “Wow. I never knew that Snoop’s intelligence >>> Lupe’s bullshit. Isn’t that ironic?”