RACISM AIN'T DEAD YET...

Before you go all Obama/Dr. King/Biggie Smalls crazy with the rest of your holiday weekend, I just thought I'd come back to say hello and burst your bubble with regards to race relations in America, and specifically in the south.

Absolutely 100% true story:


Last night, after doing research for the job, I went to my old bar hangout in Marietta, GA. It's called Churchill's Pub. You don't normally see a lot of black folks in and out of there, but they do come through. I get treated like some sort of celebrity by the staff and owners, simply because I've weathered 2 years of coming in consistently. Working across the street at another bar made it accessible, and the fact that they have really good food, free wi-fi and would let you order a pitcher of beer for yourself were enough to keep me coming, even though I would sometimes sense race hate from the other side of the bar. Which I never pay much attention to anyway, but sometimes I would actually engage the people directly with a sarcastic smile and a knowing look.

It wasn't that way last night, but there was this dude that I know pretty well from seeing him there a lot, sometimes with his mom and dad. He was hanging out with this guy that looked like he was born in a hunting jacket; like he literally fell out of a deer's coochie one morning, reached for a rifle and shot his own mother dead. This guy was short, pudgy and had extremely wild eyes -- probably from meth of coke or... who knows -- and did all he could to get my attention when he played "99 Problems" by Jay-Z on the Rhapsody jukebox. I gave him a salute and even played along with him when he shouted out the lyrics to the part of the song where the officer is talking to Jay. You know: "Cuz I'm young, and I'm black/and my hat's real low/do I look like a mind reader, sir?/I'ont know..."

This is ironic, because 20 minutes later, as I walk over to say what's up to the other homie, he meets me in front of the jukebox, like, "Are you gonna play some shit!!@?? (drunk as hell). I was like, "Um... yeah!?" And he was then like, "YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" So I guess that meant we were cool. It had to mean he had established some type of relationship with me, at least in his mind, because not 5 minutes later, as I'm looking through the web, he does the irritating thing which people always do when I take my computer into a public place -- ask if I'll go to some stupid website or YouTube video. This time, I said "Sure," and actually found this really cool site that showcases a local artist who lost his arm or something and draws completely with his mouth. So I say to him, "That's actually cooler than I expected it to be, my man." And he says, "OH!!! YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?!??!@@#%?! CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, MAN!!*#!"

That's when he pulls out his phone and shows me how he won last year's Halloween costume at a neighborhood party.





I actually got the guy to send that picture to my email address. That's really him. Now, if you're white and reading this, you might be thinking, "Aww, come on, Mike. That's not really racist! It's just a harmless joke! Stop being so damn sensitive and taking all the fun out of something that's not even that big a deal..."

True, true. Sounds great, but what was I supposed to say about the picture of his black dog, who he called his "down-ass nigger" and bragged about how well-trained he is, and why I'd love him, and why I should come over to their house to get really drunk(er) with the whole backwoods family.





I politely declined, shook my head a little and laughed. Finished my drink, turned back to him and asked a very simple question:

"So, did you vote for Obama?"

He said no.

I paid out my tab, walked over to the bartender and gave her a hug, tipped my waitress, threw the deuces to our shared homie, and after putting on my long, black winter coat and throwing my Macbook back into my leather shoulder bag -- looking like a future black senator, I might add -- I extended my hand to shake that of my new, ignorant-to-his-own-racism friend and said:

"You're actually a cool cat, besides your bullshit. Hope you think twice about your picture and the N-bomb in the future. Oh, and happy MLK day."

KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT IS DEAD

This vid that I copped from Failblog.com is funny as hell and I think you should watch it as an introduction piece before I go into this next post:





I guess I'm posting it because it seems like the reporter should have used his common sense and not gotten in the way of an unstoppable force. He looked like the swaggering, confident sports journalist when the vid begins, but alas; he loses his standing, is sent spinning out of control and lands on his American ass.

Then he has the nerve to try to sound "cool" (get it--snow!) while laying on the white. He then collapses. When he is finally helped back up by a supporter whose face shall not be seen, he staggers--not swaggers--off into the distance in shame and stupidity. Maybe he should have questioned the wisdom of trying to be so close to something he couldn't control. This, oh my brothers and sisters, is what happened to still-Governor Rod Blagojevich. He saw the gravy train a-comin' down the mountain and had to be the Christmas turkey that got glazed [nl].





It is reported today that Gov. Blago WILL NAME OBAMA'S SUCCESSOR, in what has to be one of the most defiant political moves I've seen recently, next to Senator Larry Craig's STALLED ATTEMPT AT MAN-LOVE and subsequent refusal to accept even his own guilty plea in court, dragging his public embarassment out longer than necessary.

The move by Gov. Blago has already drawn a line in the snow between himself and THE DON MEGA HARRY REID, with the Senate Majority Leader repeating the party line that any person appointed by the disgraced governor would be blocked. Since it's everyone's intention to have Blago not only impeached but possibly prosecuted, it makes perfect sense that he would not take the idiotic step of tainting SOMEONE ELSE'S good name by telling the world that he--in all of his political morality--has decided that said person was the most qualified for such a powerful and significant position. But politics = Pandora's box, lest we forget...





My question: why is it that Blago keeps shitting on black candidates? Pardon me if my colorblind philosophy is blurring my actual vision, but wasn't President-Elect Barack Obama a black senator? Why would Blago twice put his slimy stamp of approval on two otherwise respectable black men with upward mobility and political aspirations of grandeur? Is this some type of trade-off? Do blacks in Illinois have to pay a penance for Obama's success? Sacrifice two knights to get one king? Checkmate?

Or is this something more politically poisoned? Is Gov. Blago putting his finger in the Obama Administration's proverbial EYE OF PROVIDENCE by spreading his own disgrace among other candidates that share a similar ethnic background to Obama, as long as he is hung out to dry by the new Democratic establishment? Maybe his posturing is a way of saying, "Look here, Mr. Magic Negro; I will not be the only one to fall on this one, so you'd better look for a way to save me and my political legacy before I start flipping even worse than the reporter in that YouTube video above."





And seriously, what does that "Warning" sign next to Blago mean? Is there some subliminal message in the choice of being snapped by a photog next to something that says the word "rats"? Hmmm...

Hopefully Blago will smarten up quickly and realize that he's already fallen. No need to keep playing yourself for the cameras, dude. You are the victim of your own epic fail. Just collect yourself, turn around and walk away. And please don't expose those that tried to help you get back up in the process. Let them have their dignity.

AULD LANG SYNE IN 2009

We're getting close to the end of this chapter, my brothers and sisters. And what I will tell you is that we need some motivational mottos for the coming year. We've still got Republikkkans on that racist b.s., Israel and Palestine are still beefing and the media is still hyping the recession. But there's good news all around, if you can sift through the seasoning salt.

Me? I'm taking the next 48 hours to determine what will stay and what must die in my own cypher. In the meantime, while I get my green on, here is a list of possible mantras that you might hear me drop once the ball in Times Square falls. Feel free to use anything you like in your own dialog with other progressive peoples. Add one if you wish!


THE UNDERWRITER'S
AULD LANG SYNE IN 2009:


Time to shine in 2009
(Be a star)

On the grind in 2009
(Don't wait for anything; go get it)

Smoke some Pine in 2009
(Why not?)

Vintage wine in 2009
(Spoil yourself)

No Calvin Klein in 2009
(Pause. Nolo.)

Grow some spine in 2009
(Where your heart at?)

Free your mind in 2009
(The rest will follow)

Please stop lyin' in 2009
(Real talk.)

Gon' get mine in 2009
(Get yours!)

First class flyin' in 2009
(As long as you're paying)

Fly design in 2009
(Swag is dead)

Not left behind in 2009
(Stay ahead of the curve)

Style divine in 2009
(Do it like Jesus would)

Deserve to dine in 2009
(I gotta eat)

Lead the blind in 2009
(Dumb rappers need teachin')

No mo' cryin' in 2009
(You can complain, but who'd listen?)

Beat Ben Stein in 2009
(Get money!)

Get off the vine in 2009
(Gossip and rumors are for girly boys)

Read, then sign in 2009
(Don't get jerked!)

Don't rewind in 2009
(The movement moves forward, not in reverse)

Clean vagine in 2009
(Because feminine hygiene rules)

Fresh behind in 2009
(Gentlemen: wash your draws)


This could go on forever. The point is that 2009 does not have to be lame as hell. Power to the people, wisdom, success, health, strength, honor and happiness to you and yours. And be safe out there on Wednesday night, whatever you do.

Peace!

T.O.C. #40 - Racist Alabama Rednecks and Obama's Late N*gger Father

[Young Obama]


TODAY:

Everyone that wears the color red and likes elephants was busy trying to spin the ridiculousness that is Governor Sarah Palin into a fairy tale story. And in such red states as Alabama, my "sweet home", I'm sure that there were thousands of others who were doing their best to turn salt into sugar.





Before you even ask axe, hell no, I'm not watching the Republikkkan convention. I'd rather watch Fox News for a whole year than see a concentrated version of lies, manipulation and race-baiting, put on by the same people who are responsible for this sad state of the union we are now living through. And I rather you killed me, had me cremated, pissed in my urn and served it after the funeral to my family as lemonade than to watch Fox News for even a whole day. So there's your answer to how I think the GOP is doing this week.





See, ever since the Republikkkans had their hoe card pulled by a bluff from God called "Hurricane Gustav", they've been scrambling all over the television news in a desperate collective attempt at pulling their skirts back down. They know that Palin is bad news, and they'd have to believe that we are all idiots (which, of course, they do) if they really think we believe that this woman is the best person to replace Senator John McCain if he croaks on the job. God forbid that that happens (hell, God forbid he wins...), but having Palin as safety net is worse than using pantyhose to break a 10k foot fall from the sky. Maybe even thinner. Not an exercise of good judgment.

As you know, Governor Palin's daughter GAVE UP THE DRAWS AND GOT KNOCKED UP. Senator Barack Obama, the next POTUS, made a formal announcement that "family is off limits." Not only was this statement an excellent political move, as it keeps him on the news during the GOP convention, but it showed his human element. That is, Obama is showing that he would do unto others as he would have them do unto him. Remember when they were tripping on Michelle? Well, now Michelle is off limits, just like the "experience" argument evaporated once Palin became the official VP nominee for the dead elephants. I swear, this Palin lady is killing every weapon that the GOP had against Obama.





So today, as I was checking my email and the daily news online at a place called STIR CRAZY in Birmingham, Alabama, I was caught totally off-guard when I heard one of the most random racist rants I've heard recently. I'm sure you're already thinking to yourself, "Come on, Mike. You were in Alabama! What did you expect?" Well, I didn't expect for a large white man to blurt out loud, in what I guess was his response to the media's sharking of Palin's personal family problems:

"Obama had a white mama, and his daddy was a nigger!"





On a day that my own blog started with Marcus Garvey, School Daze and a hanging Klansman, what else could I have expected? For the record, I was shocked out of my mind. Contrary to popular belief, that kind of public outburst or display does not happen in Alabama often; they save that shit for the backwoods Klan meetings usually, and they still whisper. But yeah, I was stuck, trying to decide whether or not I'd really heard what I heard. And it's funny that the only other black person that was there earlier had just left before the white guy went Kramer with the loud N-bomb. I guess, because I was sitting in a corner with my back turned to the other customers, the guy didn't see me and thought he was safe to return to his racist comfort zone, back in the old boys club. And he never acknowledged me afterwards, although his ladyfriend kept looking at me nervously as I went near their places at the bar to order a Long Island and to give them a heads-up that there was still a nigger in attendance.

The other customers made no eye contact with me. The bartender, whose name is also Mike, was trying to look as if he had been too busy to hear what was said. A guy who smelled like rancid ham - who was actually a cool guy - kind of made himself busy at the pool table. These people were both speaking to me when I entered, and now they looked ashamed to be in my range of vision. Weirdness...

After conferring with my colleague MAURICE GARLAND via Twitter, I realized that the best move was to exit before I said something that got me jumped by said redneck and maybe 6 other worthless elephant man-looking goons, because that would have only resulted in me returning to the bar with a dozen or so friends who live nearby and setting the place on fire. Did I just say that? Just kidding.

So what is the moral of this story? Well, let's just say that when Republikkkans get nervous, they get desperate. They revert back to the way they really are without the cloak of invisibility that covers their red necks and fat, elephant asses. Once the shield is removed, they say anything they want, and I can't blame them. If this is how they plan to respond to the fact that Governor Palin is a horrible candidate, then I feel sorry for them. They can call me and every other black person in the world a nigger, and it won't make Palin a good mother. They can shout about the fact that Senator Obama was born to an 18-year old mother, and it still won't kill his credentials. They can piss me off, but they can't control my temper, even if I don't lose it. And no, Alabama isn't really that bad, but racism exists everywhere, and shows up when you least expect it. That's what I've learned - never be surprised by it.

You know how you know you're on the winning side? When the other side gets angry. Oh, and plus they were all musty as hell. At least us "niggers" believe in good hygiene and don't use toilet seats as horseshoes.




"Home is where the hatred is..."
- Gil Scott Heron

GRAFFITI IS ALIVE IN ALABAMA

Jesus; I can't even tell you how proud I am of this. I've only posted one frame of this photo shoot from a guy named Banksy because you really need to click the link below and see what this is all about. If you knew about this dude already, you can hand me a late pass whenever you're ready.

Shout to NAHRIGHT for making this public, and big ups to Banksy again, whoever the hell you are, for keeping it ultra gully in my homestate. Very much appreciated.

CLICK HERE FOR THE SOURCE OF THIS BANKSY FUCKERY.

THE KING IS DEAD

Elvis Presley kicked the proverbial bucket on August 16, 1977, the exact same day that my best friend WHITE JESUS was born. Tell your favorite redneck; spread the good word. And tell him that Hip-Hop killed Elvis's legacy and Michael Jackson boned his daughter. See, I'm not a fan. Although I do respect the dead, that whole nice guy thing dies if said dead person had a racist reputation that was "never substantiated." Yeah, right.

In 1957, despite Presley's demonstrable respect for "black" music and performers, he faced accusations of racism. He was alleged to have said in Boston, Massachusetts: "The only thing Negro people can do for me is to buy my records and shine my shoes." Presley always denied saying, or ever wanting to say, such a racist remark.

SOURCE: WIKIPEDIA

Oh well, who cares now. I can forgive him, I guess. I mean, didn't Hip-Hop forgive Eminem for dropping the N-bomb a few years ago? It's only right; after all, it was more than 50 years ago when Elvis went Kramer. Times were different. You could call a spade a spade back then, I guess...

But just to be a prick, here is one of my favorite clips from Eddie Murphy's Delirious. Ha!





R.I.P., Elvis Aaron Presley. Maybe it was just a lie. Or maybe it was never meant to be made public that you didn't really care for the company of African-Americans. Whatever. I'm still not a fan.





"Elvis was a hero to most/ But he never meant shit to me
To millions, a straight-up racist/The sucker was simple and plain...
Mother-f*ck him and John Wayne!!"

Public Enemy - Fight the Power

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 19 (Si Se Puede!)

TODAY:

I don't want to cover this whole "race card" debate any more than I did yesterday. Even though I know that this will still be the relevant story for the day, unless something real happens or the Obama campaign makes some big announcement. It just doesn't deserve any more fuel. If ignored, it will go away, like an annoying and drunk fat girl that flirts with you at the bar.

So instead, I just wanted to remind you that the Hispanic vote is still up for grabs. And even if McCain seems likely to get a good amount of Latino voters in his column, it shouldn't even compare to Obama's draw, especially if the immigration debate heats up again before the elections. And I predict that the Democratic leadership will pull this one on the Republickins sometime close to voting day, just to remind McCain that he can't have it both ways. Either he takes a hit on the conservative side or the Hispanic. Who is more important to him?

Anyway, here go some YouTube songs that support Obama in Spanish. I haven't heard any of my Mexican peoples knocking either version from the Honda Civic, but it doesn't seem like a far reach. Especially since most reggaeton generally sucks to high Hell anyway. No disrespect.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 18 (late)

[Even if you ignore everything else about this image, you gotta love the pimp collar and the necktie.]

TODAY:


The senator is finally dealing with the realities of being the first African-American major party nominee for POTUS. Now, the McCain Campaign is accusing Obama of playing the legendary proverbial "race card," for suggesting that some people might be afraid to vote for him because he has a "funny name" and doesn't look like anyone else on dollar bill. Which is true.

But the Republickins, in their desperate search for any ammunition, are trying to use this against Obama. And you already know how the story goes...

OBAMA:
"I was in Union, Missouri, which is 98 percent white -- a rural, conservative [city]. And what I said was what I think everybody knows, which is that I don't look like I came out of central casting when it comes to presidential candidates," he [Obama]said in an interview with Florida's St. Petersburg Times newspaper and Bay News 9.

"There was nobody there who thought at all that I was trying to inject race in this," he said. "What this has become, I think, is a typical pattern from the McCain campaign, whether it's Paris Hilton or Britney or this phony allegation that I wouldn't visit troops. They seem to be focused on a negative campaign. What I think our campaign wants to do is focus on the issues that matter to American families."

McCain actually showed some teeth - or maybe dentures - with his appearance at an annual meeting of the Urban League in Orlando, Florida. Check it...

He mentioned several black leaders -- including former Democratic Rep. Harold Ford Jr. and activist Al Sharpton -- by name as he lauded bipartisan efforts to overhaul the nation's school systems. But Obama, the presumptive Democratic nominee, who is slated to address the group Saturday, rated several swipes.

"You'll hear from my opponent, Sen. Obama, tomorrow, and if there's one thing he always delivers, it's a great speech," McCain said as he began his address, which criticized Obama on issues ranging from tax policy to education reform. "But I hope you'll listen carefully, because his ideas are not always as impressive as his rhetoric."

SOURCE: CNN.COM

This is what you call attacking a person in their own backyard (nolo). By mentioning former House Representative Harold Ford Jr. and others, he made his move for the lingering doubters within the black community. And it's plenty smart, because some of the black "leaders" still aren't very fond of someone that doesn't need them. In their minds, he could very well represent a threat to their power. I mean, if a black candidate wins without the whole-heared, not half-assed, support of Rev. Jesse and Rev. Al, then they must not be viable or relevant anymore. That's what everybody else will say.

So I guess McCain is offering them some smelling salts to awaken them from what Bill Clinton once called a "fairy tale" - the dream that he's not going to turn this thing ugly in the very near future. Trust me, the G.O.P. does not want to lose the Oval Office. Hell, they're already PROJECTED TO LOSE HELLA SEATS IN CONGRESS. You really believe that they're not going to try every dirty trick in the book to keep at least the biggest piece of the political pie?

You crazy.

So McCain is telling the hold-outs to keep being unsure. And judging by THIS B.S., it looks like the race card is really being pulled by somebody with power, public relations savvy and a political agenda against Obama. I mean, this, not Ludacris's "Politics as Usual" song, is stupid and dumb.





Mitt Romney probably promised to pay their college tuitions or something if they showed up looking dusty as hell, acting like fools and trying to get Obama to "turn his attention to black issues." Is it a coincidence that McCain would show up at the Urban League event? Sounds like calculated timing to me...


Oh, and for the record, I have a liberal bias. Just so you know. You'll probably see way more aggregate coverage from CNN, The New York Times and other reliable sources than you will from propaganda loving race-mongers Fox News.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: Day 16

TODAY:


We're going to laugh. We're going to look at the ignorance, and laugh together. Because really, even though political humor can go too far, sometimes it's still funny if you can dig past an obvious insult and find your sense of humor.

Here are a few photos I've found along the way to fullfilling this assignment to cover the Obama campaign for 100 days.

















Pretty classy, huh? Feel free to pass them around to others. Or feel free to start a petition demanding that people stop using caricatures, drawings and graphic manipulation to create images that unfairly draw negative and misleading racial and cultural reactions upon political candidates from those who don't know how to tell a lie from the truth. See how far it gets you.

Good luck with that.

THE NIGGER NEWS

So I go through my daily online news this morning and look what I found at CNN.com:

"On the untitled album, there's still an air of militancy, with the threats of violence directed toward those who aim to oppress African-Americans.

He boasts likenesses to Black Panther founder Huey P. Newton and threatens to throw Molotov cocktails in the name of civil rights murder victim Emmett Till.

On "Testify," Nas warns that he's loading a magazine to "send these redneck bigots some death in a bag/choke him out with his Confederate flag/I know these devils are mad."

SOURCE: CNN

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.


It's great to see that CNN actually covered this in what comes across as a non-biased, journalistic way. Nas just might see some numbers and garner even more respect as one of Hip-Hop's best for making an album that targets the most feared word on the planet. Even if he changed the name, I totally support the idea behind this one. Untitled dropped yesterday. Go buy it.


"No matter what the CD's called / I'm unbeatable, y'all!"
Nas - "Hero"

OBAMA: THE LAST 100 DAYS

Go ahead and hit that cigarette, my brother. Only 100 days left before November 2. It's gonna get shitty...


This is the beginning of the real movement, for those of us who are true supporters and not suckers. It is time to toughen up and get ready for the real fight. The true political season starts now.

I believe that political action involves debate. And some people are too stupid to know why they should like Obama. All they can do is hate him, because they are programmed as such.


Here's where our responsibility comes in. Everyone who has an Obama t-shirt, book, poster, magazine or campaign sticker ought to be able to give anyone outside of the know a few reasons why they too should support the candidate. For me, it's culture, environment, economy, diplomacy, conversation and even freedom. Mental, that is.

I'm gonna try to post something every single day until November 2 - Election Day - about my choice for President. Good and bad. Supportive and critical. Realistic and idealistic.


If you feel like commenting, shit... go for it. If not, don't.


TODAY:

THE WHITE HOUSE JUST ANNOUNCED that a special envoy will be meeting with Iranian diplomats.

This is a major shift which stands to help Obama, because John McCain does not believe that diplomacy can work with Iran. If Bush starts a dialog with Iran, it will severly undercut McCain's stance on foreign policy.

Translation: Obama looks like he's on the right correct side of the Iran issue. McCain looks old as usual.

RACISM IS ALIVE - DON'T ACT SURPRISED

Yes, that's Michelle and Barack Obama, in the Oval Office, wearing revolutionary and Islamic attire, engaging in flag burning, Osama worshiping and fist bumping.

Absolutely not worth my time. I don't discuss blatant, incendiary racism when it is done just to stir up fear and loathing. Lest you forget, I live in Cobb County, Georgia, where these stupid ass people think that their ignorance is shared by all. It is strange that The New Yorker would take it this far, but I'm used to it.

Check out these tasteful and dignified items of race-baiting that originate not far from where I reside.


FROM THE ROSWELL BEACON:





FROM MULLIGAN'S FOOD & SPIRITS IN MARIETTA




Whatever the fuck. There's nothing new under the sun.


"White people could never surprise me with racism."
- Chris Rock