Here's a little reassurance for you skeptics out there. I know, I know; you're still struck with those dag-blasted heebie-jeebies about tomorrow, even though you keep hearing about all that security and the precautions taken to ensure a safe and happy inauguration.
Fear not; it appears that the last thing anybody wants is a problem with the super-official Obama entourage. In case you were unaware, this is how President #44 is rolling out in these skreets. Now ask axe yourself; do you want beef? This dude has the pimp game on clack-clack!!! See for yourself below:
But nah... go right ahead. See what your foolishness and unprepared mind will get you in 2009. My advice? Chiiiiiilllllll.....
Tony Alamo, a man of the cloth, has been watching too much Sesame Street, it seems; thus, his career as an epostle of the Lawd IS OFFICIALLY DEAD. He has been arrested for being a weird pervert, but this is far from the first time. Alamo was convicted of tax-related charges in 1994 and given a four-year prison sentence, after the IRS claimed that he owed $7.9 million to the government. Prosecutors argued during the trial that he was a flight risk, a polygamist and a weirdo, who not only prayed for forgiveness but also preyed on married women and young girls in his flock.
According to his beliefs and theology, a woman is ready to marry at the point of puberty. It says so in the bible, according to whatever chapter he's read. He and his now deceased wife Susan founded a Christian ministry in 1969. When she died in 1982, he KEPT HER IN THE BASEMENT, asking his followers to pray over her displayed body so that she would rise like Lazarus. Wow.
This most recent arrest occurred at the hands of the F.B.I., at his cult compound in Arkansas five days after his 74th birthday:
On September 20, 2008, federal and state investigative agents raided the Arkansas headquarters of the ministry as part of a child pornography investigation. This investigation involved allegations of physical abuse, sexual abuse and allegations of polygamy and underage marriage. According to Terry Purvis, mayor of Fouke, Arkansas, his office has received complaints from former ministry members about allegations of child abuse, sexual abuse and polygamy since the ministry established itself in the area. In turn, Purvis turned over information about the allegations to the FBI. Alamo denied the child abuse allegations. On September 25, 2008, Alamo was arrested by Arizona police and FBI agents in Flagstaff, Arizona on charges that he transported minors over state lines for sexual activity in violation of the Mann Act.
Here's a video of how Alamo, pronounced "A-Lame-O" by the Fox News personality interviewing him, believes that the Lawd will deliver him from the wickedness of the world, and how women shouldn't yap their stupid mouths off.
Jesus, what evil hath men done in thy name? R.Kelly wears Jesus pieces on the regular, and he pees on any pre-pubescent Punky Brewster he pleases. Nobody complains, and his star stock actually rises. He can even get on TV and come across as Chesterly as ever, taking no responsibility for anything he may have done while asking heaven for a hug.
But that's still not enough. Did you know he started a business selling sequined denim jackets under his own name, and his failure to report his revenues to the IRS would land him in prison for tax evasion? I mean, what kind of pervert makes his living selling stonewashed and airbrushed denim? No wonder he was ashamed of claiming his earnings.
Catholic priests have been fondling a lot more than their own balls and bibles, oh my brothers and sisters. Some, it seems, may secretly use their Rosary beads on themselves, if you follow. Then you have the whole "gay marriage" debate, which in my opinion is not worthy of any debate. Civil unions are just fine with me, but marriage is and should always be used for lovers of the opposite sex. This is not a religious issue; it's a natural one. I thought that one of the major reasons to get married was so that your child would not have to go through life with the title of "illegitimate." But now that's all dead, and the children are going to be raised by couples made of husbands and wives that can ask axe each other, "How's it hanging, honey?" How do all of the fatherless bastards of today feel about this, I wonder?
This is what happens when we condemn sex as an ungodly act. Not only do people go underground with their weirdness and freaky ambitions, but the criminals become the equals of people who aren't even committing crimes. I just hope that the true believers out there take this as a message and start getting serious about cleaning up their churches--from the inside out. Nolo.
People are always saying that Hip-Hop is too violent. And the general response to this statement from those defending Hip-Hop's right to using violent and vulgar rhetoric is that actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone have killed more people on film than any thugged-out rapper has killed MCs on wax.
So I came across two videos of two different Rambos. One uses the machine gun and the other uses his mouth as a weapon. You tell me: Which of the two deadly MCs is really killing it?
BLACK RAMBO:
WHITE RAMBO:
Seems to me that our Italian-American brother John Rambo is way realer than the OG from Compton. Gangster rap stays losing.
I got an email today from a reader. Wow... this blog thing is getting out of control!!
"What's good Underwriter. I found this clip on the net and it look like something you may have put in to your blog. Anyway, give your boy a shout out!"
- Superninja
For the record, I hadn't seen this, but for the hell of it, I'll post it on G.P. Preshate it, Superninja.
I can't even go into too much detail about how sad this is. I just hope that INGRID RIVERA is finding some comfort in Heaven after experiencing hell in her final hours on earth. Unfortunately, some men are rapists, killers and cowards - all packed into one body. And those men - not the drug dealers - deserve to die. Kill 'em all, I say, and let God Satan sort 'em out.
If you want to read the story of what happened, CLICK HERE.
Rest in peace, Ingrid. May you never be forgotten, and may your name live on to keep other unsuspecting females from being led into dangerous situations with guys they don't know and shouldn't trust.
I'll tell you this much. I have hella female cousins. If this would have happened to one of them, you'd find the guy's head on top of the Georgia Capitol with a scythe still hooked through his ears. I don't play that shit.
Scientific researchers at the University of Aarhus (?) have made a brilliant discovery - one whose announcement is sure to spread like cobwebs in the circles of internet-saavy spiders. Female arachnids, beware: your men are out chea boning unsuspecting potential mates by playing dead and stealing the ass.
Hell, at least the spiders don't have to live in Darfur these days, for God's sake. Then not only would such savage spiders rape the ladies, they might just kill them and the kids, then burn it all down on the way to the next unfortunate victim.
So don't you PETA pricks get mad at me if you see me in the woods squashing the shit out of some tarantula or black widow. He might be the "Chester" that sodomized Charlotte.
"I'm gunnin' for your spouse, tryin' to send that bitch back to her maker, and if you've got a daughter older then 15, I'm a rape her, take her on the living room floor, right there in front of you, then ask you seriously, what you wanna do?" DMX - "X is Coming" (nolo)
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