THE UNDERWRITER LIVES TO SEE 2009

Yes, bitches. I've made it. 31 years, and not a single bit of evidence that would suggest aging. Maturity? Surely. But I'm a child of God, and I retain my youthful spirit and I remain young at heart. I love being alive at this point in time.

Can you believe that we actually have a black president?! I mean, take away the horrible recession, the toxic sludge in the Tennessee River, the still-unfinished business in New Orleans, the pointless violence in Gaza, the ignorant racism of the Republikkkan party--especially in my beautiful south, the lack of self-belief and the persistence of power-lust and you have a serious opportunity for change. And, as you can tell, I'm not one for the fantasy way of seeing things. I see dead people.

I also see live people. I see the chance to make the miracles that we think only God has the power to perform actually happen, with our own work. And I'm ready to make my mark on the world. We're not in a recession, as it would relate to the richness of the human mind. We're more capable of thinking our collective way out of this mess that we've made than at any point in human history. Why waste it?

Give me the green light. I can go all night. And all year. And all my life. I've been ready to go, and right now is as good a time as any in my term on this planet. Let's all get serious about life this year. Let's not substitute anything for hard work and dedication. As my man White Jesus always says, "Get prolific."

If you read this blog, peace and blessings to you in 2009. Thanks for supporting writers and readers.

INSPIRED BY OBAMA (and sour diesel).

Jesus, I had no idea how zooted I was when they shot this video. That's what two Ls of Sour Diesel and plenty of vodka will do to you. Anyway, here's that video I told you about from the New York post.



Let there be no doubt that I was feeling extra glowy with those blue lights all around me.

HOW MAXWELL SURVIVED MOREHOUSE

Anybody who went to an A.U.C. college or university in the mid-90's and remembers the 1995-1996 Morehouse Homecoming concert will understand why I'm writing this blog about the Maxwell + Jasmine Sullivan concert in Birmingham this past Tuesday night. Obviously, nooobody had heard of any Jasmine Sullivans back then, so of course the same went for Maxwell. But he was a new artist at the time, making rounds and paying his dues on the Chitlin' Circuit, and he was the unlucky bastard new guy that was scheduled to open for The Fugees.




If you remember Fall '95, that was the year when 2Pac's All Eyez on Me and The Fugees' The Score put Kanye vs 50 Cent numbers up on the Billboard charts, sparking equally lucrative tours, creative offspring and zealots of every sort trying to jump on either the west coast gangster rap or neo-soul bandwagon and ride that beeyotch to the top. So if you were opening a show for them and you weren't aready a star, you were taking a major gamble with your pride trying to "warm it up" for headliners that were obviously among the biggest names in the business at that time. You can imagine my crew's impatience, having executed a stampede to get past the line at King Chapel's doors for the concert, when the host announced some guy named "Maxwell" that was going to entertain us until Lauryn, Wyclef and Pras were ready to take the stage. Do remember how dude used to look back then, with the hair, glasses and either some dusty jeans or those kung-fu master linen scrubs.





Oh, my brothers and sisters, we booed that young man off the stage with glorious, reckless abandon, and I mean the whole crowd joined the chorus. I'm pretty sure I recall that he came on stage with a bar stool, an accoustic guitar and no shoes, maybe chancletas. Cats weren't having it. We pointed him away from the building with the same steadfast posture as carried by the statue of MLK out in front of the building, waving our arms and shouting for the music to cease. Hearty and magnificent in depth, the ringing and rolling boo went from side to side of the auditorium, with an awesomeness of vocal strength and determination that made it feel like a scene from the colosseum battles in Gladiator.

It was something like this...



But worse.


Anyway, thirteen years later, though we believed we had killed his career at the time, it has become apparent that Maxwell survived our unrelenting Apollo-styled reception of his performance and progressed. Maybe he just wasn't ready for the stage back then. Maybe we just couldn't dig his "energy" and "swag." Either way, he continues to excel at the job of singing live and making women swoon. He will be around for a while for that reason alone, even if he does put on a weird show. On the low, I bet 80% of dudes hovering around 30 have used Maxwell (nolo) for at least 1 romantic interlude with a special lady in the last 13 years. Maybe on the high. All I know is that he's coming back from a 7-year hiatus, and the comeback looks like it should be a success thus far.

Happening as it was on the first Monday after The Day, the crowd at the BJCC was quite dapper and upbeat, even though most of the people there were probably just coming off a shitty first weekday like myself. You could tell that we were all riding the Obama high for as long as it would last. You did get a sense that people's smiles seemed to be worn naturally on their faces with nothing to hide, as if tonight's ticket price for a well-timed musical performance was an uncharacteristic luxury that we all deserved for showing up at the polls. Oh yeah - don't let me forget about the abundance of black women with jobs, nice dresses and other special qualities that you didn't get to see, because you were commenting on somebody else's blog. You lost.








Oh yes, my brothers and sisters, women love Maxwell, with all his weird "energy" and "swag". He's strange for different reasons than he was in 1995, which may be the key to his career as a performer at a time when nobody's buying albums. Back when we first saw him, this guy was earthier than dirt--even beating out Erykah Badu in a male sort of way. But now he's weird because he does weird dances and says crazy shit on stage about how sorry he is for missing that last show... which, from what I heard, was like six years ago and nobody even remembers.

Then he makes a public plea for free panties, asking the ladies in the front to throw them, and suspiciously he receives a pair that must have been pre-planned for trajectory. And what kind of heifer already has draws in her hand ready to toss in 2008? More fuckery occured when he spent an extended amount of time on the floor with the mic stand between his legs, hunching the air while looking up at the spotlight, possibly searching for an answer to a question I wouldn't dare pose.




Say what you will about his "energy" and "swag"; the guy can sing. And he can pack a concert hall in a major city at seat prices starting at $70, which is way more than he used to get when he was onstage chewing an incense stick. Much respect to him and the lovely Jasmine Sullivan, who played "new vocal Whitney" to Maxwell's "R&B Obama", putting a serious dent in the coffin of R&B music, if only for one night. Musical highlights include Sullivan's entire performance--this girl is serious--and Max's "Lifetime", "Til The Cops Come Knockin'", "Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder)" and "This Woman's Work."







(Jasmine Sullivan and her painter's uniform)


The moral of this concert is that if you have true talent you can get away with murder on stage. Jasmine knows that she is wrong for wearing a Dickies suit with the legs rolled up to the knees. And Maxwell is a good enough vocalist that you don't even mind his "energy" and "swag". He's a true musician, and for that he deserves respect.

If he comes to your town anytime soon, go ahead and take out a payday loan so that you can go to the show with some change in your pocket, find a thirsty woman and groove to the rhythm of romance and blues. Maxwell has come a long way from sporting farm attire to wearing a suit and necktie. Now, if we can just keep him away from the "party favors" backstage so he's not getting geeked up before the show, we'll have a new-school Marvin Gaye for years to come.




Is it me or did Maxie steal the infamous "Soy Bomb" dance? You be the judge, dear reader. I'm about to go to bed. If you live in NY, let me know what's good for the weekend. I'll be in town.

ALTERED BEAST - THE REINCARNATION

"Rise from your grave!"


Thank God I don't work for you, oh my brothers and sisters. If I did, I'd actually be in danger of being fired, because Lawd knows I haven't attended to the job of blogging since we hit October together. You would think that I'd continue to put up those pesky Obama campaign posts as promised, but nope. The way I see it, my job is not to just lurk for news on all the normal sites and post an opinion everyday just for the sake/fuck of it. Sorry if I set you up to be disappointed but it makes way more sense to take my time and put out quality over quantity. Creativity over consistency--all day homie. I'd rather do a great thing once and retire with respect than do a cheap thing forever and be branded as consistently marginal when I'm gone. Call it what you like. Maybe I'm just ungassed enough to know that Senator Barack Obama will win without me, so I can relax and watch history being made without my help.





See, I recently hit a monumental point in my life, wherein I decided to say, "Fuck you." And I don't mean that to be taken personally by you, dear readers. Quite to the contrary, you are something of an anomaly; you read this blog without promotion, marketing or gimmicks. I mean that rhetorically as a retort to those who would allow me to go on slaving just because I wanted to be noticed. I'd rather not be noticed for a flash in the pan, actually, and I consider anything gimmicky to be hot pepper on the stovetop. Speaking of gimmicks...

I'm at odds with myself on what to do with this blog. The whole trial (and error) of putting the word "Dead" in every post title became tiring and restrictive, and it was one of the things that forced a creative vacation. My return sort of signals that I'm ready to make some changes, but I've grown to love and hate this damned thing, which lets me know that it just might be permanent. Is that good or bad? I have no idea. I do know that I feel as if this blog is less of a ball and chain commitment than a labor of love. I can't possibly stop being expressive about the things that I write here, lest I let my guard down and dwindle into unchallenging thoughts and ideas. And that would be figurative death by spiritual abandonment.





By the way, did you know that DOLEMITE IS DEAD? Yeah, I saw it today while I was at work. That's another thing; I've got a new job. It's crazy that it came during a period of negative economic growth, but it gave me a fresh new perspective. I can't lie; it feels great to know that I'm going to get a check when I expect it and it actually pays the bills and leaves extra behind, not even considering my ultimate hustle of writing and promoting. Sure, I want Rudy Ray Moore to rest in eternal peace, but that doesn't mean pimping is dead.





I'm actually in a great place right now. Autumn is setting in, the leaves are dying and changing colors from green to gold, brown to burnt, falling to the earth to fertilize the future. It's a wonderful process that recycles life on our planet, and the earthtones create some of the best scenery you can witness when doing something as simple as walking through a nature trail. Don't forget I'm 1/3 white.





I don't know, dear readers. It just seems like I'm always on the opposite end of the world. When shit is shitty, life is gravy for me. When everybody else is partying, I'm feeling pitiful. Maybe it's only right that the changing tide brings me new fortunes. Hell, you might even say I deserve it, after having gone through that good ol' hard knock life that your boy S. Carter so eloquently mused about. Maybe I'm becoming that person I'm supposed to be, or always was, without the detriment of outside wickedness. Or maybe I'm just drunk off this pitcher of Bud Light I've almost finished.

Whatever the case, I do appreciate your patience and suggest that you hang around. Trust me, big changes going to keep coming. Actually, don't trust me. Just don't act surprised.


Viva la Vida!

DEBATE IS DEAD

There are not many things that could get me to change my preference in the upcoming presidential election, oh my brothers and sisters. As I said in a column earlier this year, Senator Barack Obama would have to get caught naked with either a dead girl or a live boy to stop me from voting for him. Tonight, he has a town-hall style debate in the city where I was born—Nashville, Tenn.—with Senator John McCain over who should be The Man with the master plan for 2009-2012 and beyond. I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow with the only commentary that you need to read. Until then, happy viewing.

Free advice: Whatever you do, don’t listen to any Republikkkan spin after the debate is over. Turn the channel if you have to—MSNBC will keep it trillie—but don’t let right wing nuts make up your mind for you.

It’s Yours!

BIRTHDAYS ARE DEAD

If you know somebody that's a Libra, give them a pound today. Michael Jordan, otherwise known as THE BEST WRITER ALIVE, is celebrating a birthday today, oh my brothers and sisters. In memoriam of his dead Myspace blog and the success of this weird, savage undertaking that you are now reading, he decided to post one for nostalgia's sake. I mean, KANYE WEST might be reading it, or at least some great writers from around the globe. Might as well flex some mental muscle from MJ's Think Tank.

This one was called "The Birthday Blog." It was posted two years ago on Tom's Rupert's social networking site. Since we're two years past, I went ahead and updated it for flow and maturity. Enjoy it like it's the last blog you'll ever read.



############################################################


THE BIRTHDAY BLOG





As hard as I tried not to do this, I broke down 30 seconds ago and decided to write a blog on my birthday. My honest intention was to just clog the Bulletin Board with announcements and irritate people the way they do me everyday. I figured this one time it was for a good cause; those bastards never mind asking me to "CLICK HERE TO SEE MY TITS!", so I don't mind telling everybody that I was born 100 years ago today. At least that's what my profile should say if it's working. How old am I really? Well, I'll admit to being old enough to have finished college (which I haven't), old enough to have put 10 years in the music/media business, wise enough to know that kicking a dead horse won't make it trot and young enough to get carded faithfully when ordering a drink.


Some of the things I've learned thus far are listed below, in no particular order:


- Family is most important. True friends are family, and everyone else is an outsider.

- Women will get you killed.

- The truth is a joke. Try telling a Republican that they're ruining the world. I bet they laugh.

- Never plan your day around someone else's schedule. I've been telling myself that for 12 years, and it's finally kicked in, giving me the ability to feel great about being self-centered and to stop worrying about anyone else's actions.

- You don't necessarily have to put God first. He/She is first anyway, and you're going to figure it out the hard way unless you embrace the grand reality of life.

- I'm the best writer alive. And yes, I mean it.

- Some people never change, for better or worse.

- With the exception of what we call "Kush", Drugs are Bad. Mmkay?

- Most people don't read. They just look at the paper and criticize the pictures.

- You can't work for someone who can't pay you.

- Politics are important, because if you have to put up with liars, you have to pick the ones who are most sincere.

- For some reason, Black people are a threat. Don't ask me why.

- The music industry doesn't exist, like the Mafia or the illuminati.

- Sex cures anything. Except STDs.

- Having musical talent can and will save your life.

- Gossipping men are most likely perpetual masturbators. Eventually they run out of friends and sympathizers.

- Celebrity Blogs are like right-wing radio: destroying our collective conscience day after day after day...

- By the time you read this, I'll be tipsy off some high quality red wine. Spoil yourself; no one else will.

- You have to find something to live for before you start considering what you'd die for.

- Capitalism has good and bad points, but it's still a better system than anything other current model.

- People think that love is about sacrifice, but it doesn't have to be. It could simply and purely be about love, if you think about it.

- Grudges will get you nowhere, but not all things should be forgiven easily.

- You can't compete with someone who doesn't see you as competition.

- There are some moments, people and incidents that you never get over. In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets.


AND STILL MOST IMPORTANT...

- I'm Free.

MODESTY IS DEAD: THE OBAMA CRUSADE CONTINUES

Pass the high-class mustard, oh my brothers and sisters. It has been announced that Senator John McCain, who believes that you aren't rich until you have $5 million, IS THE NUMBER 1 STUNNA WHEN IT COMES TO CARS.

Man, it's gotta be nice to be a Republikkkan. You know, once you sign your soul over to Satan, that your whip game will forever be proper. Not only that, but you probably get to drink Arnold Palmers after matches at your exclusive tennis club, while soaking in the steam down in the bathhouse sauna with the other good ol' boys, as you enjoy cigars and political opinions like your own. And after you've made it clear that you're of the same Confederate mind as your contemporaries, you hit the showers, change into an extra-crispy JoS. A. Banks outfit and head over to the pub for a pre-paid meal and a couple of Manhattans before you climb behind the wheel of one of your luxury automobiles - whichever one you drove that day.





Republikkkans have no idea that there's a recession going on. Not that they aren't hearing and seeing all the evidence for themselves, but they can't really be expected to believe that their favorite son, who is currently in charge, let this happen on his watch. Therefore, it didn't happen--that's how the GOP deals with today's economic climate. There is no recession, there is no stock market crisis and there is no problem in the housing sector. The fundamentals of our economy are strong, as long as they can't feel any difference in lifestyle.





I'm still astounded that McCain has managed to fool so many people. He's a member of the party that controls the White House, and while the Senate and House have technical Democratic majorities, neither house of Congress can make anything stick that Bush doesn't like, since all he has to do is push the Veto button. Without a true majority, there's no possilibity of a filibuster. But somehow, someway, people think that the Democrats are responsible for congressional failures. What they don't realize is that without that Democratic majority, things would be way worse. We should be glad they're in those seats, instead of complaining about what they haven't done yet. The Democrats holding down their elected positions are keeping McCain from buying 10 more cars while instituting the type of change that is contrary to what the men who wrote the U.S. Constitution intended. Sure, he supports alternative fuel choices for cars, but he lets his daughter buy a foreign whip?




The only change you can expect from him would be a final stake in the heart of womens' and civil rights, as he ultimately stacks another two right-wingers on top of the Supreme Court. You want to talk about change? What if McCain rolls up to the Capitol in a Rolls-Royce for his first State of the Union address and says the following:

Dear Bitches:

You are no longer free. We are now in the first phase of "Country First", my new plan of action as President. Your government now has the exclusive right to make decisions regarding your body. But congratulations; you now have the irrevocable right to life! Nobody but us, your government, can take that away from you! By the way, we might call for a draft; you know, we still do have that 100-year war that we're going to fight against, uh... Asia? Venezuela? Was it... Africa? Oh yeah, Iran!! Whatever, wherever... When we call for you to die for your country, we expect you to exercise your right to... um... choose? Wait, scratch that last thing I said. Let's just keep it real: either you fight for us when we say or you get the electric chair. And I got five friends in black robes that say I'm the man, so I bet you won't trip.

That's all for now, but don't forget to come through next weekend for the 1st Annual Johnny Mac Car & Bike Show, featuring Cindy and Sarah's wet t-shirt competition, a free Mexican buffet and a live reggaeton/kickboxing performance by Daddy Yankee and Chuck Norris! We changed the game on these hoes!!

Oh, by the way, Senator Barack Obama has one car: a Ford Escape hybrid. American made and forward-thinking on energy and oil. Change we can see, starting at the top of the ticket.




The better question might be, what the hell does McCain need 13 cars for, anyway? When's the last time he took a driver's exam? I sure as hell don't want him driving ahead, behind or onside of my car; you know how those geezers drive. After he loses the election, I can only think of one type of car he needs to be driving. And yes, it's made for retirement.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE BOUNCES BACK FROM THE DEAD

[You've gotta agree: This dude is an orator of the highest order. When he shines, it's brilliant.]


TODAY:


After a horrible post-GOP performance, it seems that the dust is finally setting and Senator John McCain is going back to his position in the race, which is, of course, loser. THOSE GOOD OLD POLLS are swinging back towards the Democratic ticket. Most likely, if I had to guess, I'd say that dangling Governor Palin around for the female vote is finally starting to look like political prostitution, and McCain's bravado is slowly starting to smell like bullshit.

To say that I'm happy that Senator Barack Obama got his _____ back would not be sufficient. I was seriously starting to doubt the wisdom behind his campaign, because there is no excuse, even when playing it safely out of the way when the other team does something stupid, for a person running for POTUS to let his gloves down before the championship belt is secured, or you can get KTFO by a random right cross.

If you truly deserve something, and you know it, you'll fight for it if necessary. And I was always told that once you've been hit, you have the right to defend yourself. You can choose not to return fire--again, a personal choice--but until you respond forcefully or at least defend yourself, you are liable to be assaulted over and over until you just give up and walk away from the fight, embarassed and still being kicked and beaten as you stroll home to hide your face for a week or two.

Who wants that? Especially when the two fighers are horribly mismatched and there's no way that McCain could beat Obama at a debate? I'm not saying that Obama was quitting or giving up before this week, but it was becoming extremely disheartening to watch a champion seemingly throw the fight, especially when everyone knows that he can win, and it actually is possible, if he really, really, really wants it bad enough to go for it with everything in the bank.





I don't want to face November 5 without knowing that on this day and for the rest of the campaign, whether I cover it daily on this blog or not, I did what I thought was right and spoke what needed to be said. And if McCain wins by a landslide, I won't say anything. I won't protest and I won't whine. I'll keep working like I am today, because a McCain presidency would be no different from the current one.

But if it's close, and McCain wins by one of those Bush #43 margins, I'm going to be superpissed at Senator Obama, the Democratic Party and America, but I'll still get over it and I'll probably be content with writing my first magnum opus, depositing the check and comfortably fading into suburban life. Doesn't sound bad, huh?





Of course it does, when you consider that I could be getting ready to do the type of work that people do when they care about where they're going in life or what type of fuckery will happen to them if they sit on their asses and play satisfied. I hate just throwing out random Che Guevara information, because people don't even know why he was so influential. The guy actually worked, as in performed physical duties alongside the average Cuban men and women, at least one day a week, setting a precedent for others to join him in national service. Sure, it was kind of mandatory in a communist state, but leading by example is always better than leading by microphone, book or blog.





I'd rather be inspired by my POTUS to doing something important so that my kids, whenever they appear, don't inherit a world as dicked as the one I own today. McCain is not about to get his ass out in the community to do anything other than speak or kiss babies. Obama has already been in the field, where they say it's real. I want him to win, because it's going to take more than just his speeches to lead the country into rebuilding, redeveloping and reinventing ourselves on the world stage. It's going to take all of us, and I don't see John McCain making a significant number of people move, especially when he can barely lift his arms. Honestly, I say that with no disrespect intended, but the truth is just that fonky, oh my brothers and sisters.





So really, who cares if Obama is black, or not white, or neither and both at once? Do you really--seriously--want a strange ass woman and this septuagenarian to win, when they proclaim to be the embodiment of everything for which the GOP currently stands? How can things change if Bush isn't even interested in helping his former rival by showing a little more interest? That's how I know McCain won't win, because it's not even being properly setup. All signals point to change, and that's not a Republikkkan term, no matter how they try to steal it.

Enough for now. Gotta read a few chapters of the book and get some rest. Tomorrow, let's talk about this nasty BIDEN/CLINTON EXCHANGE RUMOR that I keep hearing, shall we? Personally, I don't buy it, but I do expect an October Surprise of some type.

Anyway, we'll deal with that bridge to nowhere when we cross it.

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: RESURRECTED?

Thank GOD! I was seriously - seriously - starting to get concerned, because this type of strategic attack took too long to happen, and it can't take this long again if Senator Barack Obama intends to win. But he did spit a classic line, and even if it wasn't a freestyle, it was certainly a Hip-Hop quotable:

“If you think those lobbyists are working day and night for John McCain just to put themselves out of business, well I’ve got a bridge to sell you up in Alaska.”

SOURCE: CNN

Get it? And if so, can I now start getting excited again about this campaign? Will we see more tenacious D from the Democrat from Illinois on the path to winning back The White House? Should I get crunk about the upcoming presidential debate next Friday?

Let's see what develops...

T.O.C: BALLING IS DEAD

It finally started to appear today that the Democratic nominee and his running mate are ready to take the fight to the GOP, courtesy of the average American citizen. Why? Because Wall Street suffered a stroke yesterday, and has been hemmoraging uncontrollably ever since the bleeding began. Just the truth--the economy is completely dicked.


A.I.G., Countrywide, IndyMac, Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and the list goes on... All of the banks who fell for the housing bubble fiasco and tied their anchors to the sub-prime Titanic have either crashed or fallen to government control. The government is having to bail these companies out of bankruptcy in order to avoid the alternative, which could very well be a total stock market meltdown. At the same time, oil refineries were barely touched during Hurricane Ike, but the oil barons are still allowing gas prices to remain unreasonably high right now because profits are sweet. Even as prices per barrel are falling, gas prices at the pump are not. Winter is coming, energy supplies are low and houses are now being repossessed like cars, as more and more people default on mortgage payments. And the economy lost 80k jobs in August.

It simply makes no sense how crazy everything is, yet we're seriously entertaining the debate on whether or not a Republikkkan belongs in the White House again.


Here's what Senator John McCain has said all year about the U.S. economy:




Here's Senator Barack Obama's speech today from Golden, CO:



And here's what his running mate said:




I'm not saying that Obama has all the answers, but he certainly seems to be ready to deal with the problem more aggressively. It's good to see that the guy is finding his formula as it relates to the message of his campaign. I won't lie; that "hope" and "change" rhetoric was starting to sound more like a pep rally speech than a plan. Specifics on issues are always a good idea. It is wack that it takes such odious national conditions to get people to see that there is a clear cut difference between the Democratic and GOP tickets.

I'm voting Obama-Biden because I don't want to live in a welfare state.

DIG THIS: DJ A.M. & TRAVIS BARKER'S FIX YOUR FACE MIXTAPE

Been heavily distracted, but dare I say it's been for good reason and not just because my man Senator Barack Obama needs to check his nuts. New developments are forthcoming, oh my brothers and sisters. Will explain later. Stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, HERE'S A LINK to the mixtape I've been spinning for the past few days, while I was wild busy--in the superlative sense--with writing deadlines and avoiding the blogosphere. I can't lie, I was starting to feel like a lot of people were being brainwashed by "Love Lockdown" and Sarah Palin, so maybe it was time to take a week off to regenerate instead of trying to fight the tide. Word to Hurricane Ike.

On some real shite, if you're a writer, or even if you're just a person that identifies his or herself as such but can't really write at all, this mixtape is pretty dope. It's a good mood piece for when you have all types of deadlines and limited time to seek outside inspiration.

T.O.C. #43: THUG MOTIVATION

Young Jeezy's album dropped this week. I haven't reviewed it, because I've only heard half. But the half I heard was great. I will say that I'm very happy that the Corporate Thug publicly announced that we was registering to vote for the first time in his life (he's 31) and HELD A VOTER REGISTRATION DRIVE at Justin's this past Thursday. I'm usually half and half on Jeezy when it comes to albums, depending what day of the week we're talking about, but with album that Hits Magazine is projecting will sell 250k units before next Tuesday and his own steady but calm support for Senator Barack Obama, I have to say that Jeezy definitely earned another 12 months in the limelight.




A key thing that I would remind any supporters of Obama right now is that none of the nonsense matters. All that matters is that people vote for him on November 4th. And in order to do that, people must register to vote by the first week in October. If you are not registered, you have 30 days. HERE'S A LINK TO FIND OUT MORE INFORMATION. Pass it on.


Oh, and if you're starting to worry about Palin, maybe you shouldn't have watched her speech, I guess. I'm over it like I was never under it - the spell, that is. The sooner that the rest of us stop talking about her, the more they're going to have to come up with something real for her to say. Right now, their running off hype, and it'll continue as long as people gossip, which means she could ride a wave of distraction straight into the White House. And we'll all be looking stupid as hell for letting them get away with it.

Therefore, unless she makes any real statement that has to do with keeping the actual citizens of country from being any worse off economically, I have no interest in covering or speaking about her. Remember, this race is not about her, anyway. Besides, this is the first of many fights for which Senator Joe Biden was hired. That, of course, does not mean I won't shoot an occasional jab at the Republikkkan ticket as a whole; I just don't see a reason to give her attention when the issues are much bigger than her and her family.

More good energy for you is at the bottom. Take it and run with it to your nearest voter registration office or website. And don't let anything keep you from having your name on the roster if you're legally able to cast a ballot. We've only got one turn to get this right.

T.O.C. # 42: HATE ON ME, HATER

TODAY:


Senator Barack Obama announced that he has raised $10 million since Governor Sarah Palin's speech at the GOP Death Festival yesterday, from approximately 130k+ donors. Yes, that's in less than one day.

The Republican National Committee announced earlier Thursday, at mid-afternoon, that it had raised well in excess of $1 million since Palin's speech. Republicans expect Palin to mobilize their donors. But the Obama camp promptly used the speech as a fundraising hook, sending an overnight e-mail to supporters to contribute.

McCain can no longer raise private donations for his campaign because he has decided to accept $85 million in public financing for the fall campaign.

SOURCE: SALON

And he finally made a comment about Palin that acknowledges that she is alive.




It's good to see the senator staying busy through this nonsense. I'm getting back to my book. If anyone sees anything interesting or worth mentioning at the RNC, drop a comment in the box. But again, I advise you to ignore this brainwashing craziness. Overstand that mental poison is even worse than drugs. Word to Nas.

How about some Jill Scott instead?

T.O.C. # 41: You Can't Be Serious

TODAY:


I am almost outraged that people who know that the Republikkkans are evil are actually watching the Republikkkan convention. I didn't have to see Governor Palin's speech and the obviously ensuing applause and cheerful reception to know that it was going to be a festival of lies, manipulation and deception. For God's sake; Bush is a Republikkkan. And if you thought that the party of Bush, Reagan and Nixon was really going to change face this late in the game and start being responsible for the rest of the civilized world, which they've already severely fucked up, then I wish you the best in life, because you're obviously not ready to face the reality of the world. Or, just kill yourself, which I'd wholeheartedly suggest to you lame ideological idiots.

I pity the fool.




And now, I will bring you back to reality, and back to the true purpose of this crusade. Senator Barack Obama is still killing the racist propaganda that comes from the GOP. And he's doing it with class, grace and style. If you think I'm just selling wolf tickets, CLICK HERE. And remember, I'll even admit on a sunny day for Democrats that poll numbers mean Nathan. But if poll numbers come up positive when they're not supposed to, like, for a black Democratic Party POTUS nominee, during the GOP convention... well, let's just assume that the numbers are still underestimated, because they're never going to let us know just how far ahead we really are. If you're down with the clowns, you don't have to be afraid that the Obama/Biden ticket is actually winning, if that scares you. Just sleep through the nightmare and wake up in eight years. But don't fight the tide if you're lost at sea.





And that's all for tonight. But if you really need anything else, let me just say that I'm still amazed because I can now comfortably believe that we're actually going to win this thing. And it's all because the GOP fell victim to its own fuckery.



[That's just so you scaredy-cat Democrats and Independents will calm the eff down and relax. We've got a great candidate, and all that's stopping him from advancing is YOU.]



I'd like to say, "Big ups and infinite thanks," to Governor Sarah Palin, the most unqualified VP candidate in history, for helping the villainous Republikkkans to throw this election into the trash. Yes, Joe Biden is going to thrash this whole phuckphest in the debates. And it's not only going to be ugly; it's going to be funny. Mark my words.

T.O.C. #40 - Racist Alabama Rednecks and Obama's Late N*gger Father

[Young Obama]


TODAY:

Everyone that wears the color red and likes elephants was busy trying to spin the ridiculousness that is Governor Sarah Palin into a fairy tale story. And in such red states as Alabama, my "sweet home", I'm sure that there were thousands of others who were doing their best to turn salt into sugar.





Before you even ask axe, hell no, I'm not watching the Republikkkan convention. I'd rather watch Fox News for a whole year than see a concentrated version of lies, manipulation and race-baiting, put on by the same people who are responsible for this sad state of the union we are now living through. And I rather you killed me, had me cremated, pissed in my urn and served it after the funeral to my family as lemonade than to watch Fox News for even a whole day. So there's your answer to how I think the GOP is doing this week.





See, ever since the Republikkkans had their hoe card pulled by a bluff from God called "Hurricane Gustav", they've been scrambling all over the television news in a desperate collective attempt at pulling their skirts back down. They know that Palin is bad news, and they'd have to believe that we are all idiots (which, of course, they do) if they really think we believe that this woman is the best person to replace Senator John McCain if he croaks on the job. God forbid that that happens (hell, God forbid he wins...), but having Palin as safety net is worse than using pantyhose to break a 10k foot fall from the sky. Maybe even thinner. Not an exercise of good judgment.

As you know, Governor Palin's daughter GAVE UP THE DRAWS AND GOT KNOCKED UP. Senator Barack Obama, the next POTUS, made a formal announcement that "family is off limits." Not only was this statement an excellent political move, as it keeps him on the news during the GOP convention, but it showed his human element. That is, Obama is showing that he would do unto others as he would have them do unto him. Remember when they were tripping on Michelle? Well, now Michelle is off limits, just like the "experience" argument evaporated once Palin became the official VP nominee for the dead elephants. I swear, this Palin lady is killing every weapon that the GOP had against Obama.





So today, as I was checking my email and the daily news online at a place called STIR CRAZY in Birmingham, Alabama, I was caught totally off-guard when I heard one of the most random racist rants I've heard recently. I'm sure you're already thinking to yourself, "Come on, Mike. You were in Alabama! What did you expect?" Well, I didn't expect for a large white man to blurt out loud, in what I guess was his response to the media's sharking of Palin's personal family problems:

"Obama had a white mama, and his daddy was a nigger!"





On a day that my own blog started with Marcus Garvey, School Daze and a hanging Klansman, what else could I have expected? For the record, I was shocked out of my mind. Contrary to popular belief, that kind of public outburst or display does not happen in Alabama often; they save that shit for the backwoods Klan meetings usually, and they still whisper. But yeah, I was stuck, trying to decide whether or not I'd really heard what I heard. And it's funny that the only other black person that was there earlier had just left before the white guy went Kramer with the loud N-bomb. I guess, because I was sitting in a corner with my back turned to the other customers, the guy didn't see me and thought he was safe to return to his racist comfort zone, back in the old boys club. And he never acknowledged me afterwards, although his ladyfriend kept looking at me nervously as I went near their places at the bar to order a Long Island and to give them a heads-up that there was still a nigger in attendance.

The other customers made no eye contact with me. The bartender, whose name is also Mike, was trying to look as if he had been too busy to hear what was said. A guy who smelled like rancid ham - who was actually a cool guy - kind of made himself busy at the pool table. These people were both speaking to me when I entered, and now they looked ashamed to be in my range of vision. Weirdness...

After conferring with my colleague MAURICE GARLAND via Twitter, I realized that the best move was to exit before I said something that got me jumped by said redneck and maybe 6 other worthless elephant man-looking goons, because that would have only resulted in me returning to the bar with a dozen or so friends who live nearby and setting the place on fire. Did I just say that? Just kidding.

So what is the moral of this story? Well, let's just say that when Republikkkans get nervous, they get desperate. They revert back to the way they really are without the cloak of invisibility that covers their red necks and fat, elephant asses. Once the shield is removed, they say anything they want, and I can't blame them. If this is how they plan to respond to the fact that Governor Palin is a horrible candidate, then I feel sorry for them. They can call me and every other black person in the world a nigger, and it won't make Palin a good mother. They can shout about the fact that Senator Obama was born to an 18-year old mother, and it still won't kill his credentials. They can piss me off, but they can't control my temper, even if I don't lose it. And no, Alabama isn't really that bad, but racism exists everywhere, and shows up when you least expect it. That's what I've learned - never be surprised by it.

You know how you know you're on the winning side? When the other side gets angry. Oh, and plus they were all musty as hell. At least us "niggers" believe in good hygiene and don't use toilet seats as horseshoes.




"Home is where the hatred is..."
- Gil Scott Heron

THE OBAMA CRUSADE: HISTORY IS MADE (Day 37)

Former Vice President Al Gore Jr. has just spoken at Invesco Field, a.k.a. Mile High Stadium, in Denver, Colorado. Wolf Blitzer just admitted that he was dancing, although off-camera, to the sounds of Stevie Wonder singing "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." An estimated 80,000 people have gathered to witness this event.



I'm, like, totally amazed and excited that I'm alive. I don't know about you, but this is some serious shit. If you're not excited too, I don't want to know you. And don't leave a comment on my blog either if you're a hater, because I'll trace your IP address and make you the laughing stock of the internet in my own special way that no one will ever have to know about. This is a big deal, and if you're not on my side, you're on the wrong side of history.



So this is how I'll start this post on this historic day. I'll be back later tonight to update it with the actual speech. The homie Chuck from UNDERGROUND LIVE is in town, so we're heading to downtown Atlanta to find the crowd and celebrate this moment.



Seriously, can you believe this is actually happening?

"THE A-TEAM" IS DEAD

Damn. Like, really damn. I can honestly call Rashan Ali and Emperor Searcy friends of mine. I've known both of them for 10 years, and unlike a lot of people who claim to be in the celebrity circle, I can honestly say that both of them know me. So this is wack as hell to me. But, for the record, "The A-Team Morning Show" of Radio One of Atlanta (Hot 107.9) IS DEAD.


The A-Team consisted of Rashan, Searcy, Griffy 2 Trillion and... uh... somebody else, I think. But they are long-standing A-town vets who were there since Atlanta began to blow and stayed down to this day. And it is this day, the day that Obama will accept the nomination, that they have accepted pink slips from Radio One. They are being replaced by THE RICKY SMILEY MORNING SHOW.





The good news about this is that all three main characters of the A-Team are well situated. Rashan is happily married with child, and I don't see her in a financial crunch. Searcy is a partner in Black Market Entertainment, a.k.a. BME, which is also co-owned by Jonathan "Lil' Jon" Smith. He's not at all poor. And Griff is a great host, comedian and personality in his own right, so I assume that he'll either move to another market or find his way to television in the next 12 months.


But to be honest, with no disrespect intended, the show hasn't been the same since Ryan Cameron left. And from what I hear, Ricky Smiley's syndicated radio show isn't really that good, but I haven't heard it, so you ain't heard that from me. But seriously, I don't expect it to last very long in Atlanta, because there are so many home-grown morning shows here, and this city is too big for something that's not local. Tom Joyner is the exception, like Larry Bird. Ricky Smiley? Nope.


Mark my words; Smiley won't last in Atlanta. But, on another note, why does this feel like the opening night of the Olympics? You remember, when John Edwards announced that he had fathered a bastard love-child and cheated on his wife, who has terminal cancer. In other words, people like to put out bad news announcements when the story is likely to be overlooked because of something much more major. Like the acceptance speech of the first African-American nominee for POTUS by a major political party.


I hate this for "The A-Team", but I love this day in history. And, on that note, I'm about to head to downtown Atlanta, to be with some good people as Senator Barack Obama makes his speech.

Life is good. Light-skinded is back! We are living history. This is crazy. I'm supercrunk. Time to hit the town. God bless America (wow).